Trust Only In Human Behavior

Several time I have been witness to successful businesses, projects or groups with great teams, utterly destroyed by one person’s ego and desire to control or destroy.

In this last year I had a reminder of this when a project I was involved in was in danger of one of these situations and I had to work incredibly hard along with my business partner, to stop everyone losing..which very nearly happened..

In looking back its easy to apportion blame and ask why the person and their recruitees don’t see what they did ….but here’s the issue.. they do see it, it’s just much more convenient to paint a different interpretation on things an interpretation that makes other people the “bad guys”… and in observing this we see the trusty and reliable aspect of human behavior, projection. And so the complaints that the perpetrators lodge against everyone else, is exactly what they themselves are guilty of…

What upset people was the issue of “trust”, people commented “I trusted them why did they do this” and here’s what we must remember… In any group of humans you will get group dynamics. and in terms of group dynamics trust is not enough.. its too flimsy and can be derailed by one rogue… usually this ‘rogue’ will start by seeking to recruit and undermine, pointing out the ‘shortfalls’ of a colleague or boss and gaining sympathy..

Gradually reinforcing this they will pick their moments and then make ‘power plays’ to sway things their way… So what they’ve done is to try and divide and rule.. and often it works really well BECAUSE they understand human nature.,. often at an intuitive rather than intellectual level, but they know what hooks people in…

And so our lesson when in a group situation is to accept and understand the potential of humans in group dynamics and to make rules for the group that stop this happening.. The ‘trust’ thing isn’t strong enough… We need to be as wise to group dynamics as the ‘rogues’ are and understand that this is not even personal, its that when you get a group of people together, certain patterns are quite usual and to be expected.. and then in expecting them, we can derail them before they derail everything else…

A certain group of the recruitees I am sure don’t like me however I am very sure they know what they did or tried to do and thats fair enough, but we stopped them, and we had to because we can’t allow feeding our families to work on ‘trust’ in human behavior…

If there’s something to trust in human behavior its that this sort of thing will happen.. so be ready for it and be prepared to go to any lengths whatsoever to deal with it.. and don’t expect everyone to like you..

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1 Comment

  1. I like you. You’re very sensible. It feels like all this should be common sense, but I suppose common sense isn’t so common…

    I also feel bad that it’s the sensible people who are disliked. Facing truths is never pleasant, so when somebody shoves it to your face, you tend to act defensively.

    You have it tough. But it’s your kind of honesty that gets things done. Thank you. Your other articles have really helped me out too. Old religions don’t help anymore… they just pathologize negativity and tell you to endure instead of solve. Though… perhaps the purpose is the same. To give up one’s problems to the universe instead of to a God. I like this interpretation better though. It’s still faith, but more logical and less flowery, and doesn’t have for me the trauma of Catholic school and Catholic communities.

    So again, thank you. I’ve taken a lot of your words to heart, which I did not expect at first. They were so clear and straight. I know you said that “reassurance is a drug,” but I certainly felt validated, and more at peace with my situation, after reading your articles. I also keep coming back to them to remind me, so I really appreciated that you posted them up for free!!! I don’t know what sort of hellhole I’d have spiraled into if I didn’t find them.

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