The Myth of Self Belief

The Myth of Self Belief


It’s a bewildering question that many have asked.. the question why do we cling to the idea that some form of mental acrobatics can turn the voice in the head into only liking us.

Why do we persist with the idea that we can force it one way with positive thinking and self affirmations and self liking or self loving when that very same “self” – just like the fickle friend on “real housewives”  is gonna turn on us in a heartbeat and bite us in the ass with how hopeless and crap and what a failure we are…

Pushing a pendulum one way and keeping it there is hard work and at some point, be very assured, its gonna swing all the way back. As soon as you get tired or as soon as there’s an emotional trigger… wham – back she goes…

Similar to the left brain right brain myth which has been proven to be untrue for a very long time, this stuff just persists and persists, and is what most of us will try as our first port of call on the road to trying to feel better, despite the evidence of its inefficacy.

Here’s why we do it…. control.. Control because its a process we can do without feeling we need to be exposed to the inner fears and pains we have inside, we want to go in the direction away from those.. Control- because if we try something else and fail we cant deal with the emotions of that failure and its subsequent prediction of ‘being like this forever’

And yet it is only going towards the inner fears and pains and learning how to release them that we can truly change. But that control structure is tough and resilient and powerful to overcome. The ego ( loose term ) tells us it is ‘protecting’ us by not going to those emotions and its this very system that hurts us by keeping them inside.

And so popular self help mythology will always be the preferred option for many, the incantation, the positive thought making the pain go away, the “I can journal it out” – anything but learning how to go into the fear and pain and work with it…

Avoidance of failure is one one the main control issues. People who want to do my courses ask “what if I fail” and I say HELL YES we will fail and fail and fail and work with that because if you couldn’t face failure when you were learning to walk, we’d be wheeling you around in a cart right now …because you’d have given up trying the third time you fell over..

So yeah we will PLAN to try something just out of our reach every day and to fail and to welcome it.

Anything purporting to be self help or spirituality that does not teach us how to accept and work with fear and pain as a daily occurrence, as easily as we work with joy and happiness, is not real world. And the costs of chasing those rainbows are more and more pain and disappointment and disillusionment – as it worked for a while then fell flat on its ass.

Ask yourself if that seems how you were meant to live by a universe that created you to experience her amazing and wonderful range of experiences,  colors, sounds, weather, creatures, ice cream flavors, and emotions – all equally.. that you were designed to be able to work with pain as easily as pleasure..

You can check out some example case studies here

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