The Dance” – An excerpt from the book ‘When Two Souls Connect by Steve Gunn – published 2002, superseded by Soul Connections – The Myths and The Metaphysics, an audio book in 2014
” I love you, but I can’t be with you now, but don’t leave me” – ( The Dance, Twin Soul, Soul mate, Soul Connection )
In many cases, after very long periods of ‘the dance’ (where one partner always finds reasons why they can’t be with you just now but you mustn’t walk away,) you come to the point where you can’t take anymore and are forced to issue an ultimatum.
The ‘runner’ must then deal with the trauma of loss of the most important person in their lives, forcing them to look deep inside and get past the fears that have trapped them and us alike.
In my experience, there is nearly always a point where this is necessary for the person who doesn’t run from it, as loving someone so deeply and not being able to be with them while staying in touch and being ‘available’ hurts so much, we come to a point where we can’t pay that emotional price anymore.
Frequently, soul mate parting will trigger some degree of spiritual awakening – sometimes up to full awakening with the advent of visions and psychic awareness. Thus, we are bound to explore this and take our own internal journey of spiritual discovery. Seeking the answer ‘why’ will initiate this so that we might understand how our hearts know without any doubt that this person is for us, yet they have left and we remain with utter confusion, i.e. the head /heart split.
Along the way, we will begin to ask all sorts of questions about our direction and purpose and uncover things that we would have never realized had we not been forced into this position.
It is said the ‘real’ journey of life is the journey of development of the spirit to find how the path ahead lies on a more spiritual basis now that our lives have changed forever. Taking this path, we will frequently find that old ideas and passions and ways of living no longer hold the interest that they did, and many will look to psychics, religion and spiritualism for answers.
It is not uncommon for people to lose total interest in their job and other material things that were a part of their life prior to the awakening. The path is often extremely challenging as so much in our lives will change.
For a while, confusion reigns as we know that somehow deep down a change has taken place within us and that which made us content no longer seems to hold an interest.
Add this to the pain of loss and that’s why losing a soul mate is the most traumatic experience imaginable. Hate, confusion and utter disbelief are common responses to separation. However, in order to help the karma along towards reconnecting, we will find that unconditional love and understanding towards our soul partner is the only way.
This can be unbelievably difficult in the first stages of separation, as the pain is so overwhelming we often fail to see how we can forgive someone for putting us through this. But as we continue along our path to awareness, eventually we find a place where the love for our partner is the only thing that matters and we offer them healing and forgiveness.
The quicker the two partners reach spiritual awareness and live out the karma, the quicker the reconnect. The link between the soul mates is an actual energy link. It’s akin to having a twin, where this person feels part of us and part of our soul and indeed they are in a way BUT not in a way that one can fulfil the other but that each shows the other something that they need to find in themselves.
Q. So how do I make sense of all of this and my situation?
Sense is an intellectual function in the brain, Evaluating what is happening against other ‘real’ experiences and trying to find out what’s going on. Words like obsession and phrases like ‘Am I going mad?’ flash through the mind in an attempt to compare this experience to others and find an understanding that will give us some peace.
The reason is that meeting a soul mate is a soul experience. It’s an experience that is so unique it can’t possibly be made sense of by comparing it to other more practical and every day things. The universe has decided that two people have to encounter each other as they are connected at a deep soul level. So, in fighting it, you are fighting the forces of destiny.
“Having thought through everything and analyzed it to death, I think I’m much closer to understanding things than the average layperson.
There were certain characteristics to the whole matter certainly, such as the incredible irony. If everything in the matter isn’t just so ironic, then it probably isn’t the true thing. The stages I found were something like what one goes through when someone dies. First, there’s the incredible shock and realization that nothing can ever be the same again. Then there’s the denial, no. can’t be…didn’t happen…wasn’t me, whatever. Then there’s the deep pain that hits so hard, and you carry for some time.
Then there’s a kind of acceptance, and finally some sense of peace again. Also conversely, there are the stages of first love that everyone remembers from high school. First, the glow in the face and eyes is something that shines out of everyone, transcendental and ethereal, and makes everyone more attractive. Then they see with new eyes (rose-colored glasses) and see art and beauty in many things that weren’t noticed before. Then you start to understand every poem, song or writing that delves around the subject of love. Then you realize that the depth of your feeling before, which you thought quite deep, was really shallow because there’s miles below that which you’ve just struck into and that makes other relationships pale so strongly in comparison.
Physical reactions are varying. When embracing, you might feel a shift inside at the solar plexus like someone gently shoving you over saying, make room, we’re finally together here, and you feel whole and more complete. I had struggles for most of my life over suicide. Once meeting that person, or realization of that person, even though the emotional strife is more than ever experienced before, I’ve had not one day of that struggle since, as the heart knows that once feeling the togetherness, it is inevitable that you must come together again. I’ve also had a strange golden patina to the light surrounding the circumstances, almost like a sepia tone, which told me in my heart that God was present or guiding me through these times.
The extreme physical reactions of heart flopping like a bass in a boat, the highs and lows, like Disneyland on drugs, all wrapped up in a big whirlwind that is hard to ride through.
The tsunami of love, 9.5 on the Richter scale of love, just short of absolute destruction. It is always bittersweet, antithesis and paradox, things and feelings together that just really shouldn’t be, as they are opposites.
There is a great fear of the immense feeling because it is so hard to take, both the highs and lows. One always runs away or is taken away by a controlling person, because likely one partner always bends over backwards for people (so others can get a better aim to kick you in the head), and won’t put themselves or their happiness as high as that of others. But there is still a communication on a deep level always present, that tells you that the other one is going through the same thing, and communicates the feelings and love back and forth that sustains through the rough periods.
And of course, you know that ‘the surgeon has to cut deep for the healing to begin’ and this always cuts the deepest, but is healed the quickest by the love of the partner”
The book “When Two Souls Connect” is out of print after more than ten years.. It has been superseded by my new book SOUL CONNECTIONS – THE MYTHS AND THE METAPHYSICS
For a reading / consultation http://stevegunn.net
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