Soul Shock – A real soulmate story


This article, from the book When Two Souls Connect, was written in 2002, the book came out of print just over a decade later in 2013.

When Two Souls Connect dealt with the practical experience of soul connections, but it also introduced some metaphysics., hoping to get people to see beyond just the pain and  there is a bigger picture at work.   To move on from When Two Souls Connect, my new book focuses purely on the metaphysics of soul connections and how happiness is is entirely yours you just need to know how to claim it and how that love can really only set you free.

Soul Connections – The Myth And The Metaphysics

soul shock

Steve Gunn Feb 12 2014


The opening Chapter of my book When Two Souls Connect – edited


England – 2002

‘The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand.’ -Robert Vallett

If you’ve met someone who’s changed you forever

If you love someone so much you realize you just weren’t alive before them

If you’ve met someone who’s awakened you to the unbelievable beauty of existence

If you’ve met someone who is more you than even you are

If you miss someone so much you can’t even conceive of existing without them

If you’ve lost someone and it feels like your soul left with them then read on…

Typical of many cases I deal with is the story of Fiona and Robert.

I first met Fiona when she booked a telephone reading and I realized she was suffering a great deal of pain and confusion from the recent breakup of her relationship with Robert. I recommended she seek healing and, a week later, she arrived at my door.

I wish I had a cent for every tear that has been shed on that end of my sofa — it’s a wonder it isn’t afloat by now. Seeing people in complete despair is a common occurrence for me but it never gets any easier watching someone fall apart, not least because I’ve been there. Some days, you just wonder what the human race is coming to when people can hurt others in the way this girl was hurting. However, she was here now and I was going to help her.

Her total devastation and confusion was apparent and, as I read both her energies and Robert’s, I realized this was a very strong metaphysical ( soul mate ) connection, hence the level of suffering she was enduring. She told me her story, described what seemed an ideal relationship – until, in the midst of it, Robert had turned tail and run without warning. To add to her grief and despair, within a week he had hooked up with someone else and told her he wasn’t coming back.

As in most of these cases, by tuning into him I knew he was in love with her. Fiona, however, was in no position to believe this, not based on his actions. It was totally clear to me, however, that the bond between them was strong and had grown ever stronger and stronger whilst they were together, to the point that it scared the hell out of Robert.

How do you tell someone that a person they love has hurt them because they love them too much? How do you explain that the ‘runner’ fears the intensity of the connection? I could tell this other woman meant nothing to Robert and was just a shoulder for him to cry on. But, to Fiona, it seemed he had been a cheater and had callously lied about loving her. That’s a very natural assumption when someone you trust totally turns a one eighty and goes off with someone else without warning.

For those of us who are emotionally and spiritually open to love on any level, the idea of someone running from happiness is bizarre and cruel in the extreme. Fiona was struggling to make sense of it and wasn’t winning at all, which added to her immense grief.

As I began helping her to heal and looked at what had happened to her energies, I realized she was suffering from what I call ‘soul shock.’ When someone you have a deep connection with suddenly pulls away, the dis-connect leaves you feeling as if your soul has left your body, like an empty shell. You just can’t get back to reality and you can feel as if you simply exist.

This experience is similar to grieving the death of a loved one and I know many counselors, at least those who accept and understand connections, who will treat this pain in the same way as a bereavement

What we’re talking about here is not a conventional emotional relationship. A soul connection is the most powerful soul level connection with someone and when separations like this occur you just can’t “get over it” or “move on” however hard you try. Many people can’t eat sleep or work for a long time, a lot end up on medication and in counseling.

Even after more cases than I can remember, it never fails to amaze me how powerful personal healing is and what a perfect tool it can be for dealing with soul mate connections.  Unexpressed emotions are debilitating and dangerous, so I showed her how to open up her energy and bring out the despair and pain, much of it from long before she’d met Robert, but that the connection had awakened. It had awakened it in order to allow her to feel deep love but in order to do that she had been opened up to feel her deep pain also..

As the weeks and months went by, I saw her and taught her on a regular basis. Throughout that time, she grew slowly but progressively stronger, even as she continued to ache badly from the pain of separation from Robert. When you are separated from a soul mate, you miss your partner every minute of the day and most days are nothing more than a torture of aching and needing. The soul mate connection is unlike a conventional relationship for, in these cases, the pain of separation doesn’t lessen. Some days it feels as if your heart will burst out of your chest and fly to your true partner.

Fiona experienced all of this and more, although with teaching her I was able to reduce the worst of the excesses and help her find her peace irrespective of the fact that it was likely he would come back. At times, she would call in total pain and disbelief and ask how anything could hurt so much and why couldn’t she just get over him? As always, I explained that a connection so strong was something we have little control over and, in time, she would find her peace.. This is the time to work on our inner self and to get strong and accept what has happened, to go through that inner purging that the connection has opened us up to. Trying to understand why its all happening just adds to the torture.

Over time she found her peace and strength and center

In time, Robert did contact her. Fiona, however, found it very difficult to talk to him. He frequently contradicted himself and didn’t seem to have a clue what he was doing, how he felt or what he wanted. This, of course, made it much harder for her to be in contact with the man she loved so much, as she still struggled to make sense of why he had run in the first place.

This is a very common albeit totally bizarre and bewildering phase. While the more aware soul feels the immense sense of pain and loss, the ‘runner,’ who mostly has a ton of issues, is absolutely confused by the power of the connection and will seem to contradict themselves and not know quite what’s going on. It’s common to hear ‘I love you,’ then a week later, ‘I don’t love you,’ and a host of other seemingly weird behaviors.

Understand, however, that this is your soul connection causing the other person to struggle to understand what’s going on within them, as they are also totally overwhelmed by the feelings and confusion that the connection brings.

At this point, I asked Fiona to trust me and to follow some simple rules for communication. She agreed when she realized the present interaction was confusing her even more. I asked Fiona to set out what she wanted from Robert, make it clear to him, then to back away. To insist that, if and when he called, she didn’t want to hear how bad his life was, especially after she had offered everything to make him happy. And that if he could not be there for her, then to put the phone down.

Staying strong in this phase takes an awful lot of guts and faith when the person  seems so close to returning. To push them away unless certain criteria are met is scary when you so fear losing them again. But Fiona did it… she stayed strong and didn’t compromise the peace and stability she’d started to achieve.

They met, they talked, she called me. Robert had accepted he couldn’t go on as he had and he was prepared to face his fears and give it a go. Many more meetings occurred before Fiona was sure he was ready and knew that he would face his fear of commitment.

When finally they both came together again, and had put the past behind them, Fiona asked Robert to come to me for a reading and consultation.

Robert arrived and it was apparent he had no idea what to expect. I gave him a psychic reading and saw what was going on within him and how he had struggled to make sense of the past couple of years. What he said was a real eye opener for me, a rare chance to see how the incredible intensity of a soul connection can scare the daylights out of someone seemingly so strong and together.

He started talking about a time before Christmas when he realized just how deeply he felt for Fiona and, although he had always shunned commitment of any sort, he had decided to ask her to marry him. On his way to buy a ring, he talked to a friend about marriage and said he suddenly became very scared and unsure. He never did tell me what the friend said but whatever it was plugged deep into his fears. After that, instead of asking her to marry him, Robert told Fiona it was over and that he had found someone else.

If you’re astounded reading this, so was I when I heard it. His thinking was that he couldn’t go through with it and maybe he wasn’t good enough for her.

What if he wasn’t ready, what if it didn’t work? All the other fear and insecurity-based questions rose up in him. His thinking was if she thought he had someone else, she could move on and not follow him.

When runners run, they really do run. Robert had demonstrated absolute mastery of the runner 180-degree speed turn. It was obvious that this man was unsure about himself – never mind what he could offer in a relationship. He made all his decisions from the head, not the heart. He mistakenly assumed Fiona could ‘get over it.’ It’s one of the most frustrating things when runners make assumptions and don’t give the other partner a chance. That’s just what this one did.

However, now Robert was back and he was talking to me and that meant he wanted to understand what this was about, to deal with his inner demons and learn how he could deal with it. This was a terrific omen for the couple’s interaction..

The outcome was that Robert did start to deal with his demons. His karmic lesson was to realize that he couldn’t live life by purely mental decisions, he needed to work on his inner demons and grow… and he did because he learned that fighting the connection only hurt them both and, ultimately, didn’t work.

I now have an invitation to their wedding on my desk


It’s now 15 years since this article was written. Over that 15 years the article has had literally millions of hits and I have worked with literally thousands of people. I have also suffered an extraordinary amount of abuse.

The abuse comes from people reading the article who want to call me to validate for them that they have indeed experienced ‘soul shock’ or to tell them what the other person is thinking or how they feel..
That is not what my work is about whatsoever and not what I did for Fiona and Robert..  What I did for Fiona and Robert is to help each of them deal with their individual inner demons that this connection had brought up within them.  My work was nothing to do with their relationship or being together or not…they could easily have not have got together and still both found inner peace..

By definition, if you have a soul connection then its there for a purpose and that purpose is about YOU and your solo inner spiritual journey.. Someone has come along and helped trigger some stuff that’s made made you go crazy and perhaps even act like an addict – desperate to know anything you can about the other person but that’s not how you will find peace..

I make this very clear in my dealings with people that I will tell you about why you have the connection, what its doing to you, and why and what you need to transcend to be at peace with it.. So please don’t do what so many do and call me then afterwards say “but you’ve told me nothing about the connection” when I’ve told you everything about it, but the connection is not the other person and you mean you wanted to hear all about what the other person is doing, how they feel or me to validate that you have a connection..

The fortune tellers will give you all that stuff and feed into the cycles of doubt and fear and help your craziness spin faster.. My work is metaphysical, it deals with your journey through it and to transcend it to find unconditional love, a state where you don’t need to know or validate anything.. Do not ask me to be the pusher when I am the rehab.

You will have to go a long way to find anyone who’s helped as many people transcend these connections and find peace with them, whether the people ended up getting together or not, but please stop punishing me and calling me uncaring because  I won’t feed the addiction to know or find validation, that is not my work..  and that’s not where the solution lies, its where the craziness deepens..

“But you’re a psychic” yes I am and that ability is used to read all the energies to supply the answers I give you – what it isn’t is a fortune teller, sadly what most people mean when they say “a psychic”
I will stand behind what I tell you 110% but I will not seek to convince you, that’s the universe’s job.. I can and will help you find peace with it and have a long track record of success in that..

I will recommend actions you need to take, often this will be some form of energy work, which often gets me further abuse even though I ALWAYS say to people you don’t need to do mine, you can use other people’s systems but you will need it …  Just as your dietitian will recommend some dietary changes and your trainer will recommend some exercise.. so please no more abuse that “I’m just selling to you”  I have NEVER EVER told anyone they need to work with me, that’s always been free choice..

So to those who want me to be the fortune teller and abuse me with statements about being non compassionate because I won’t validate things to them, you have made the past 15 years astonishingly hard, but even despite that I have worked with hundreds and hundreds of people who really did want to find peace, happiness and love and nothing is more rewarding…

I continue to love every minute of it and to question why its necessary to have to take so much abuse, not for anything I’ve done, but for what I haven’t done, but I never said I would and is not my field..

Please please please please don’t read this article and then call me, take a little time to appreciate the context of my work. I don’t need anymore angry emails about how uncaring I am.. yet I am pretty sure that the very definition of compassion is to keep going for 15 years even despite the abuse, because the people who really need and want the help need to be served…

I am even more passionate about helping people than ever before and i want to work with as many people as I can, so if you read things that people post that I choose my clients its just more nonsense, I do not. I will work with anyone.. but my field of work is very clear and specific, that’s what they can’t seem to accept.. You don’t need to appease me, you don’t need to change your beliefs, you can argue with me you can ever swear, it doesn’t matter.. its not that I have any pre-conditions whatesoever, its that my work does what it does and it does it well.. but it is metaphysical and does not get into anything else..

Try me, I really don’t bite 🙂


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The techniques I used with Fiona all those years ago are replaced by Ptsen-Nuh Energy Mapping or


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