“It’s Different For Me”

Irrespective of who we are..WHAT we are i.e human, plays so much more of a role in spirituality than we often realize..

The classic is to talk to someone in pain and see how the person, any person, any human, feels isolated like only they can understand that pain because only they are having their particular experience..

And yet pain is felt every day by millions of people alike, most of who feel judged and isolated by it.

And yet when we eventually find other people who we can see have had or are having similar experiences, we find solace – companionship and kinship and we start to understand that we aren’t alone.

That’s an important point in the transition from pain to peace, a very important point..
But it can also be a very dangerous point – because we must remember although this gives us some respite, some temporary peace, the journey has to continue onwards to find ultimate reconciliation and peace from within, our peace..

If we stay too long attached to the concept of sharing painful experiences because we have found kindred spirits or a place or group or forum we feel less alone, we run considerable danger of attaching to the problem;. and the fact that we are in pain becomes the remit, the validation, in order to stay attached to those groups, those people or those ideas that make us feel better and less alone;

So what was respite and relief, fast becomes remit and purpose; we enable and we feed that which brought us to the place of sharing.. and so the pain lives on..

We, as humans, can do this all too easily we can take on the mantle of the victim or the wounded and it becomes the purpose. Irrespective of who we are, give us a trauma, a wound deep enough, and its something that most humans will experience to some level at some time. Nobody’s better than it, nobody’s above it, it’s an experience that all humans can, and do, have; perhaps just at different times;

We can at times often even cling to pain thinking it means love is real when in actuality we are making that pain because we daren’t risk that the love isn’t real…But love cant be destroyed and if we feel love then we feel it.. Its our right to feel love it doesn’t need anyone else to tell us we can or cant… its just that good old programming of “different for me” or “do I trust it”, the world of inner manufactured illusion that will trap us forever if we let it…

So what’s the role in spirituality here..?? that’s the crux of this little article.

It seems from the evidence that there’s a line, a very definite line, between perpetuating pain versus finding healing;

A number of times people write and make assumptions that either I’m talking from personal experience, or that they need to know my personal experience in order to make a judgment about what I’m writing about. And that’s because they themselves can’t work outside of their own personal experience and therefore they perceive that’s the only way.. I was the same when I was trapped in that state and so are most people, until we are able to break free from that, to see above and beyond it and to see it in the less personal ( more objective ) way.. It’s at that point when we see that what were huge ranges of mountains become the small hills they actually always were;

I often see people take great offense at what are reasonable choices and boundaries with my work.. Sometimes that’s choosing not to undertake some things with them if I feel they are using it for the wrong reasons and will keep themselves in the pain zone longer… and so i exercise my freewill choice to decline… But because they are in pain they see my choices as some personal judgment of them with statements like “its because I myself am “stronger” than they are I am thus judging them as somehow less or wrong, or other such projections.. In other words because they are in pain I can’t have freewill.. Unfortunately all too often being in the zone of pain means people will validate actions they would normally recognize as being unreasonable if they were in a more objective state…

My personal experiences are not relevant to my work or else it would be me pushing my personal judgment and experience onto you and you sure don’t need that, you need something objective, practiced and disciplined and real not someone else’s junk..

I have however experienced profound loss and pain over many decades and learned a lot and been through many of the experiences others have and suffered many of the problems.. I am no bigger or better, no different, no stronger and nor do I ever consider I am, I simply learned that all of these things are human experiences, not just me or you experiences..

These experiences aren’t any foundation of my work ,thats objective and based on good practices however the experiences showed me how utterly damaging too much sympathy can be, how it can keep us in the pain. It showed me how many well-meaning people cause damage by using poor boundaries in their own work and the work they do with us in the readings and healing and help us stay in the wrong place…

And it helped me want to commit to real and solid work that can make a difference..

Whatever the experience, whatever the trauma, whatever the circumstances, working with people for many years and seeing and witnessing these experiences show clearly that we all go through many of the same processes, and find many of the same tripwires;

And its when we can detach from the super personalization, of the “why does this happen to me” or “this person says that because he;s …( insert assumption )”, or “its different for me” that we can start to hit bottom and start to learn and start to heal.

Why do we need to hit bottom first ? because we’re human, because of the thing in our heads telling us “;its different for me”; making us judge people who wont validate our pain and seeing that as somehow unsympathetic, because we know better.
And woe betide anyone who doesn’t go along with that and doesn’t show us sympathy because we’re different; because “they are not spiritual are they” or “they do not understand my pain”

Or in fact maybe they are very spiritual; and maybe they don’t want to hold you up, don’t want to stop you hitting the rock bottom, and maybe they’re waiting to help you when you have gone through that bottom and the “I know me best” had lost its grip – is smashed and cant hold you in its power anymore, and you can release and start to heal

Is it “spiritual” to continue to enable or to feed that process which traps others in pain ?
Am I being judgmental and cruel by not offering you the level of reassurance you want as opposed to that which I feel is reflective of reality ? Am i so terrible in refusing you a forum to endlessly talk about the pain rather than the healing….Or perhaps its quite the opposite.. Perhaps I refuse to do the work of the shadow forces, of the forces that have trapped and deluded you to keep you believing in your pain, to keep you in your “its different for me” mode and seek to stop you learning of your amazing capacity to heal;.

Perhaps I realize the truth is infinitely more wonderful than the illusion..

I’ve talked in my articles about their being a fine but definite line between support and addiction, between being the crutch and validating the injury, between offering healing and becoming the drug;

As a child of the universe we all have the same birthright, the same potential to heal..and its often only when we hit the bottom and all of the dysfunctional thinking of “its different for me” is smashed into pieces that we can really start to open and accept and learn and heal. Every human is capable of that dysfunction; its not who we are it’s a by-product of society, personalization and human traits;.

Just like we can all catch a cold we can all fall into these modes. But when we hear someone tell us we are, we think it’s a judgment as opposed to objective or constructive observation because we ourselves are in a judgmental “know best” mode…yet it’s innately human, it goes with the species and with the programming of a modern society that trains you that your opinion creates some sort of reality..especially when it’s to do with yourself…

And so the role of REAL spirituality is not to validate but to support, not to reassure but to show that the truth is better that any reassurance. Its to guide that you have this infinite capacity to be happy as your birthright, its to not fuel that which traps you but to understand it and try to steer you and others away from feeding it anymore;

Perhaps I’m not going to go along with the shadow forces that tell you wont ever really heal and it really worse for you, and perhaps I’ve been there myself and with hundreds of others and seen them heal and helped them heal and learned that on this path of spirituality there is a very fine but vital line between doing the work of the light and doing the work of the shadow

There is more work of the shadow under the name of “spirituality” than in any number of reruns of the Amityville Horror.. It lives in the guise of telling you something outside of yourself is all that will make you happy eventually. never today but maybe one day. And never because of who you are but because of something that will happen outside of your control. and never from what you do but what the universe does for you because you have no control and….”its different for you”

That stuff will not find refueling here.. if that seems uncaring and unspiritual, and I know to some because they make sure they tell me via sometimes very veracious accusatory and judgmental emails how I’m not going along with their pain therefore it means I’m not “spiritual”.. What they actually mean is enabling to their “I know best” but I realize they can’t see that at that point..

But whatever they say I cannot and will not work with that shadow energy , to work for “the other side” and so I’m sticking with that every human is born with the infinite capacity to heal and the infinite capacity to be happy.

If for one second you think that simply reading things like this is the answer it isn’t.. Spiritual progression and enlightenment is not a state of knowing its a state of being. If we need to believe we can heal first then we won’t heal because its deep in our belief structures that the “its different for me” lives and rules.. Hence we usually need to run out of road, to be thrown off course, to hit rock bottom before we have no other option than to do the work..

If we feel good from reading something then we read some more because that feeling subsides, or we need to keep reading then it’s just another crutch and it wont make any real change just stop us reaching that all too vital “rock bottom” where the REAL learning starts….

No amount of books or articles will get you there…because there’s real work to do …or as I like to say its 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration ( apologies to whomever’s quote I butchered )

In order to achieve this you must work with the universe and to do that you will need to know and learn certain things.. The metaphysical practitioners toolbag has the psychic reading to look at your karma, your connections, your path, your challenges and to show you exactly how the universe wants to steer you and why and how to stop fighting her and work with her. It will tell you what crossroads are ahead and the results of your freewill choices when you come to them;

Meditation and energy disciplines are used to remove pain and emotional wounds and teach you to &#8220 tune in&#8221 to the forces of destiny who’s winds are trying to blow you in the right direction once you can know that bigger context and stop fighting them.

Spiritual counseling in universal law and how and why these things happen like they do is also vital knowledge that we aren’t taught in schools but which defines every element of our lives;

This is what multi disciplinary metaphysical consultation is about and will give you the tools to help you get on your path….to claim what is yours and release what never was but you kept because…”it’s different for you”

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1 Comment

  1. Very revealing article. Explains many things, and clearfies behaviours about boards have confused and shoked many of us at that moment.
    THANKS Steve…


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