Freedom From The Past – Jennifers Story

[ The case studies are not here to illustrate soul connections but to demonstrate the power of personal healing and transformation using Ptsen Nuh metaphysical techniques.

In some cases, but not all, the persons need for healing was triggered by a soul connection however in these articles case studies we do not look at the relationship aspects or if they got back together – we focus on the individuals’ healing and transformation.

If you want to know about a soul connection you will not find out about it from anyone else’s story even if they seem similar because every situation so unique thats why we don’t feature the stories .. Soul connection articles on the general issues and principles can be found here but to find about about your own unique situation it needs to looked at individually which can only come from an individual consultation.]

I would like to share with you my healing journey, a journey that through the use of Ptsen–Nuh energy mapping has taken me from a place of being enslaved by my past to a place of freedom and empowerment…the real me.

My world was turned upside down when I was 2 years old, my father left to live with another woman and my mother took my sister and me to live in another country. Too young to understand what was happening, my mother would tell me that my father didn’t love me, making me feel that she was the only person in my world but at the same time rejecting me with her judgment and criticism. My older sister was my father’s favourite and everything in the garden was rosy until I was born. It was all my fault, and the weight of everyone’s projected emotions was very heavy for my young shoulders.

My father was someone to be reviled but to keep in favour of at the same time lest the maintenance payments stop, emotionally and physically distant just like my partners in years to come. I was a quiet child and due to my short sightedness wore thick glasses; I was ugly and uninteresting and in the shadow of my bubbly, pretty older sister. Known as a “difficult” child, my one saving grace was that I was intelligent and did well at school but this put me in the “you’re just like your father” category, an outcast again and so afraid of failure that I did not realise my academic potential.

Unacceptable as a human being on every level my experience of boarding school at the age of 12 almost saw the end of my days. I was bullied severely. The school didn’t care and neither did my family, I was just being “difficult”. I began self harming but was too afraid to attempt suicide in case I was unsuccessful. Instead of taking action against the bullies the school suggested that I see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist confirmed all the previous labels, I had inherited all the bad genes from my father’s family and I would have to be married to my work because I was incapable of forming and maintaining relationships. I was both unloved and unlovable.

Something was clearly wrong with me and I started seeing psychologists and counsellors from the age of 15, who I found more annoying than helpful. My busy mind was doing plenty of self reflecting and analysing already, there was no point in just repeating it to them. I discovered contact lens and the thick hair that I was once teased about seemed to be liked by men along with my glasses-free face. My transformation from ugly to desirable was confusing but it gave me male attention and in their eyes I saw my self worth, for I had none of my own. I had relationships and would be devastated when they ended, I had no concept of whether someone was right for me, all I wanted was to be wanted. I married when I was 25 years old and the sigh of relief from my family that I had found someone who could put up with me was almost audible.

I felt empty inside and alone even in the company of others. I saw fault in everything and my outlook was totally negative, making myself appear happy in circumstances that I knew I ought to be, a mask to hide my apathy and sense of isolation. When painful emotions were triggered my thoughts and actions would turn to self destruction, which is what I deserved; everyone had told me so.

When I was 33 years old my daughter was born and I started to feel restless with my life. I changed career but found myself being pushed out and this triggered a nervous breakdown, which in turn triggered the end of my marriage and I found myself in total freefall as my world crumbled around me. A helping hand saved me from total annihilation. With this started my healing journey, I began looking for ways to help myself, it was time to heal.

By chance I met Steve Gunn and he helped me to understand the recent life altering circumstances I had encountered within a wider context, which I found empowering. I also received reiki healing from Steve, and although I had received reiki before, the healing I received from him was profound; I began to feel! No longer was the world just shades of grey; I saw the colour, I saw beauty and when I saw myself in the mirror, I smiled.

My healing journey continued for several years after this, training in and receiving complementary therapy treatments. I also trained in Counselling and joined a mental health site for abuse survivors and sufferers of Borderline Personality Disorder. The veil was lifted, I was aware on a much greater level of the drama of my past and the players in the cast list. I wasn’t difficult, I’d been emotionally abused.

The general thinking seemed to be that one cannot heal, past memories will always be there and one has to find methods of coping. Having received profound healing from Steve several years earlier I knew that this was not the case, I believed the answer had to be a combination of energy work and change of mental perception. Work on self acceptance had helped me a lot see things from different perspectives and to feel when I was being triggered in order to take averting action but it wasn’t enough and neither were the complimentary therapies I was having.

I was aware that Steve had developed PN and I believed all that I read about it, it made sense and it felt right. Unlike with other therapies though I didn’t rush in and try it straight away, this was “the BIG one” and I knew it. I had to be ready to heal, to say goodbye to that hurt little girl I had known for so long and allow her to be all that she could be, which was her birthright and what she really deserved.

That moment came about 6 weeks ago and I started PN with Steve, which I found very challenging and I struggled with the simplicity of the techniques. The principles went against some that I had encountered in the world of psychology, New Age and complimentary therapies but this I welcomed because those worlds had not healed me; I wanted different, I wanted real, and this was it.

My release of stored emotions seemed slow but with Steve’s coaching and my perseverance it gradually happened and occurred in stages as each layer became ready to release until I was finally clear enough energetically and mentally for the really deep “stuff” to release. The way this happened was unexpected and surprising, a triggering thought came into my mind and I spontaneously started to scream in a way I had never screamed before, it was totally primal. I hadn’t been consciously aware of the place this came from, it felt like the very depths of my soul, and it was finally released.

I feel different and I really notice colours and the depth of everything around me. I have an inner peacefulness and feeling of connectedness and oneness that I have never experienced before, it brings acceptance and a smile to my face. I am me and I belong.

I am no longer triggered by events or past memories; a driver in the car in front giving me a rude gesture caused me to laugh like a child who had just seen someone do a handstand for the first time, a flash-back of self harming at school was responded to with a smile as if greeting an old friend and I felt welcoming towards the trapped emotions for release. I’m also eating less and no longer afraid that I might feel hungry.

I am still working with Ptsen-Nuh and releasing stored energy, and it feels incredible. In a single word, it is transformation.

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  1. That is so awesome Jennifer. Thank you for sharing your incredible journey. You truly deserve the gold at the end of the rainbow, you have travelled a long way to get it! Well done and I wish you many blessings.

  2. I love this story. I learned about Steve through his book on soul mate connections. But there is so much more to each one of us than one connection – no matter how powerful that connection may be. I am so happy for you – Jennifer – that you have found the peace you always deserved.

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