Even more on Ego Death

In the ego mode where we seek satiation, we need that partner to call us and come to us or we need to be recognized in the job or we need friends to like us, the ego mode is in its most dependent and potentially most destructive…

Remove an important satiation and we become needy. The ego mind in order to satiate will reach out for reassurance – allowing the pain of need to be validated as a “reality” of some sort to justify actions..

In the ego mode we reach out for reassurance. As we do that the brain constructs many different mental logical models of why we dont have what we feel we should have to take the pain away, to satiate. Often it will do what the ego mind does and further attack self esteem, reasoning that for some reason we don’t deserve what we need, or that somehow fate has left us behind. This makes the need for reassurance even more profound as we seek other mental models of reasoning to understand so that we can satiate the pain. Differnet reasoning different thoughts, around and around but with no permanent loss of the pain of need.

We reason this, and that and this and then we reach out for a third party reassurance. Anything to take that pain of need away…

If we cant get satiation, we blame. Often we blame the person who we perceive in the moment is keeping us from removing the pain of need. This can be family, friends , the loved one who wont call, anyone who wont give us the drug of reassurance – even people we’ve recruited to help . ( try this job for just a week if you want to sample that one ). The ego mind will construct reason after reason, many having little or no basis in fact, and will assign responsibility and blame to those who don’t or cant help us satiate that pain.

In addiction therapy this is often refered to as the “insanity”… Even without any clinical addiction there’s need, co
dependancy and ‘insanity’ – often the drug is acceptance or reassurance. All are ego mode states.

Until we’ve defused or transcended the core emotions that drive this process through ego death, every living human is subject to it at any time… Finding the truth that everyone is subject to this ego mode model which is simply programming and can be transcended, and that transcending it brings us to true oneness… is the core of all spiritual progression.

Most of us find this ego death such a hard process because we have learned ot think of ourselves as our thoughts, our opinions, our fears, our likes, we have become the very ego that needs to be detached from and therefore to many theres such a profound feeling of loss of “self” in this process and indeed there is – but not or REAL self, of perceived “self” which is simply that ego construct of a culmination of all events that have happened to us and shaped our perceptions.

In finding this path there is no “ah-ha” moment, no intellectual process, no thought, no board, no book that can make this happen. The reason that we think there is and we keep looking is because we have learned to do everything with the mind, to find new answers that obey the simple logic, to give us the magical insight of the mental process and yet there is none…..

The universe at her deepest level, and ESPECIALLY people, don’t obey logic and never did and yet the mind can only work at a linear logic level where it needs A+B=C to make “sense of something.

Once we stop trying to use such a simple devise to find complex answers then we can look inside at the deeper multi level, multi dimensional reality of existence and thing come clearer. Finally we can purge the residual emotions that were the land mines of daily existence and they wont control us any longer

Article – Transformation and Ego Death by Steve Gunn

If you would like to know more about a process that manages the transition of ego detachment into the state of oneness and peace ( “ego death” as its commonly refereed to ) , my group of self help techniques and teachings collectively referred to as Ptsen-Nuh ( pronounced “sen-new” or abbreviated as PN ) now have their own separate site http://www.healmyenergy.com including feedback from people who have undertaken the teachings..

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For Individual Readings / Consultations or Questions please email steve@stevegunn.net, contact me via facebook at https://www.facebook.com/stevegunn.net or add me on skype as stevegunn.net


  1. I was raised a Catholic, but recently I’ve been reading up on different ideas on spirituality and living in peace… the things that religions worldwide, at their core once upon a time, TRIED to provide humanity with, but which many, countless times, merely resulted in the twisting of everything natural into divisive cultural neuroses. I read New Age ideas, Buddhism, basic Jewish principles… I re-listened to the homilies at church and analyzed the mythic stories with as open a mind as I could, filtering them through all my knowledge of anthropology, history, psychology, science. New Age ideas are fascinating. I’ve found no good material on Buddhism, but the things I found that I understood made wonderful sense. There were some beautiful articles on Jewish thought that spoke of “is-ness” and “God,” and that felt right, too. The Catholic homilies still feel unreachable, but a very good friend of mine who had been having problems found faith and peace through Bible study, so some parts obviously work.

    I’ve found that the way you put the spiritual experience, Steve, is the most honest and relevant… to me, at least.

    Soul connections are directly addressing a personal, individual experience. I know that that’s not all that you do, but the grounding that you provide is so elegantly simple, universal, unsullied, when compared to tenets of religious institutions. I suppose that’s what happens when basic truths become institutionalized. It attracts all sorts of people, and everyone’s got their own take on it, and so the teachings get distorted so much it loses the values that helped people in the first place…

    It gets stuck in its time. It gets stuck in its old, old worldview. It’s inflexible, doesn’t pay attention to change, and most significantly, it’s stopped paying attention to PEOPLE.

    Not sure what I’m getting to here… but I get itchy with frustration inside.

    You don’t know how many times I’ve gone through your articles. I would purchase your audiobook, but I prefer written material. Maybe eventually I will though.

    It’s been such a pleasure reading your stuff. Thank you for keeping them up here.

  2. Wow, this really hit home, I am struggling with this issue within myself (amongst many others) within the relationship to my new Best Friend. (I have feelings it may be one of these “soul connections”). The drug of reassurance? yes! exactly! With every fiber of my being I know he loves me as much as I love him, but he is not very emotive lol to say the least (well neither was I before our connection) but it has been difficult… I have poured my heart and soul out to him time and again, and cried so many buckets of cleansing tears deep from the most (once) unreachable recesses of my soul, and he has not given equal feedback LOL. ugh! My evolved parts know the real deal and that is love, his understanding, are just as real and deep as mine, but my still immature part of me wants to stomp around like a brat and sulk and pout and whine about how unfair it is! LOL Trying to force him to “give up the goods” and just bear all his raw hurt parts to me, to reassure me time and again he will not leave me, that he loves me. sigh. Little by little I am getting over myself, and much to his credit, he has NOT run, he does NOT think Im a looney b&#ch, and little by little I am overcoming my insecurities and fears.
    I have never felt this way about someone EVER. What makes it more difficult is we are 700 miles apart, have never actually met (only online and phone interaction), he’s 16 yrs younger than me, and sigh, I am married with two kids. We have no illusions of running away from our lives to be with each other though, don’t get me wrong. That would be highly impractical, and I know would never work out at this time. We are truly Best of Friends, and we are happy with this, to put aside those “other feelings” and just support each other. But wow has it been a struggle! lol Quite the emotional roller coaster!
    So yes… this entry you’ve written here plus other things really resonates within me, getting over the NEED of constant REASSURANCE has been my biggest struggle so far… and it is dogging me still. But it IS quieting. We have only had this intense connection for about 7 months, so I figure once the initial shocky period wears off, it WILL get easier, as we just settle in to a nice groove, and see what the universe has in store.. quite exciting! 🙂

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