One of the greatest stressors around holiday time can be being around family.. Society implants images of families in total harmony which can generate enormous tension and feelings of obligation to behave in ways that perhaps we don’t feel.
Here are some ways to deal with it..
1. Recognize that family are people first – with all the foibles and hang ups and issues that people have and these behaviors will override any genetic or social bond.
2. Despite what society pressures you into – there is no law, man made or universal, that you have to love or even like members of your family….
3. Do not get weighed down with the pressures of “it’s supposed to be a happy time we all come together and love each other” You may come together and will probably experience a magnification of any tensions due to this “supposed to” obligation.. Just to be together and be civil and respectful is an admirable aim… but if someone doesn’t return that then you aren’t obligated to “suck it up”..
4. If anyone’s gonna use emotional blackmail on you it is likely family, as society deems it ‘acceptable’ for people to feel free to judge you when they are genetically related.. Judgment is judgment, treat it as such and calmly make it clear it is not acceptable.
5. If you can’t be with your family for the holidays due to any of these reasons, you probably aren’t a “bad” person and can still care for them even if its not possible to be together.. Enjoy the season and wish everyone well but don’t be brought down by it..
6. Social pressures magnify everything around the holidays..The universe however doesn’t care who you eat dinner with and how much you spent on a gift…. she would rather you be honest, truthful, compassionate, caring but also empowered and own your life which means healthy boundaries.. These are what will carry you along your journey through this holiday and many many more.Share on Facebook