I started to write this in response to comments in the article “Boundaries – what boundaries” but it became too long so its become a post..
Boundaries defining what’s ok for the individual must be in place at all times not just before or after. They’re their to protect you and to allow or disallow certain behaviors.
It is common decency to respect other peoples boundaries but don’t expect thats going to be common because it isnt.
Most commonly when we want something or someone we can be tempted to drop those boudaries and then be open to pain when the person or situation doesn’t happen as we want. We can also endanger trashing other peoples boudnaries in trying to get what we want
One of the great lessons is that the only place where love=relationships=need=pain=everything is the human mind, where everything coexists mixed in like some integrated grey soup that we constantly question or reshape trying to fine THE ONE answer – which doesnt exist. This leads to flexi-boundaries
When we allow ourselves to live on the multiple levels of the universe in which we really live, then love, boundaries, emotions, relationships, judgment, need and choices are parallel things.
All of the big spiritual teachings involve this transition from singluarity of the ego world to the multiplicity of the real world.
For example one of the most misunderstood statements is “It’s all about love”.
We know the universe isn’t all about one thing, its all about many things in HARMONY.
For instance we can’t say weather is all about Sun…
We must work from a place of altruism and objectivity and compassion ( “love” ) but without empowerment, boundaries, and objectivity – on this planet, your self esteem will end up in the toilet… If your self “love” is wasted then so is your love for others, so these situations trigger many of these big spiritual lessons…most of which shoot holes in many commonly held conceptions..traditions and ways of thinking the world works
One of my favorite sayings is that “It’s as much about the unlearning than the learning”.
All of us at some point have come from a place of “how do i learn more” when actually we eventually find out its not more its “how do i unlearn what i thought and how do i learn it differently”..
Thats not an easy concept for anyone until we’re ready to learn these big spiritual lessons. Many times we find it conflicting because it somehow means we have to accept something we didn’t know or didn’t see or didnt realize and for the good old human ego thats not something very easy to take.
However we later realize that all of us tread the same path its not a heirarchical thing its not a “how much we know” thing its a natural progression on the spiritual pathway.
We don’t kick ourselves for falling off the bike when we tried to learn, it was falling off that taught us… Same is true here in that pain is a teacher…and we all come to accept that its necessary universal mechanism to self awareness and universal awareness.Share on Facebook