If you want to know about a soul connection you will not find out about it from anyone else's story even if they seem similar because every situation so unique thats why we don't feature the stories .. Soul connection articles on the general issues and principles can be found here but to find about about your own unique situation it needs to looked at individually which can only come from an individual consultation.]

My awakening did not come with a year long hiatus around the world. It would have been nice to have eaten, prayed and loved in exotic locations, but somehow children, work and a mortgage meant that the Universe had other plans for me and nothing quite so glamorous.

From a young age, I knew that something was ‘up’ with me, and apparently so did every body else with people either loving me or hating me and sometimes both, but what that meant or how it would look was still yet to be determined. My parents trailed me off to psychologists and counselors in a vain effort to ‘fix’ me or figure me out but nobody could quite ever pinpoint a diagnosis – ADD? Bipolar? Schizophrenia? Borderline Personality Disorder? I just didn’t quite fit the diagnostic criteria for anything. Almost ADD but I had an excellent schooling record, I was just bored easily and unchallenged and liked to daydream. Psychotic episodes indicative of schizophrenia but with no hallucinations or paranoia or longevity. Bi-polar perhaps, but no serious mood swings. BPD might explain the strange energetic sensations and emotional sensitivity but no hysterics or serious relationship difficulties.

And so unfolded the first 21 years of my life, trying to work out exactly what was wrong with me so that I could be treated accordingly. No such luck, but I was prescribed a mood stabilizer, diagnosed with some kind of non-specific bi-polar disorder with no mood swings but occasional psychotic episodes (three over a period of two years) which lasted for two or three days where I thought I was a most grand human being, here to heal the world, birth the Christ consciousness and being frighteningly pursued by the Devil intent on thwarting the grand plan.

In the meantime, life unfolded as it should: university, marriage, work, and children, not necessarily in that order. Tick, tick, tick. I was, by all accounts, a high functioning human being, prone to sporadic and not terribly long lasting or serious bouts of melancholy and introspection but that could have been easily written off to a fairly tragic and unloving childhood and adolescence, early parenthood and the pressures of working, attending to my studies and raising my two small children. Oh and getting beaten every few weeks or so by an emotionally manipulative and controlling spouse. But that was a secret.

I was the poster child for togetherness. Highly intelligent, flourishing career, perfect family, a regular little 23 year old Stepford Wife. I think I was older at 23 than I am today. But I was juggling my balls perfectly. And like any good psychology student, I had conquered my thoughts and emotions and was awfully proud of my excellent progress. Peaceful? Contented? Um, not quite. And that awful, gnawing, painful, feeling in my heart, I could just ignore that forever.

But the energy – I could not ignore. Tingling sensations in my hands and feet and stomach and the middle of my forehead. Energetic sensations shooting up and down my spine. Hot flushes. Feelings I could not fathom and certainly couldn’t explain. Even then I called it ‘energy’. I don’t even know where I got that term from, I was raised Catholic and had no concept of anything metaphysical but energy it was. I investigated every single possible medical cause. I studied mental illness. I spent years ‘googling’ possible explanations for what I was experiencing with no joy.

Then there were the things I just ‘knew’, how people were feeling, what they were thinking, what they’re motivations were. I could even physically feel their aches and pains. I had heard of psychics, of course, even went to a tarot reader once, but she told me that me and my wife beating husband would be together forever so I kind of lost my faith in that right there. Plus, I couldn’t predict the future so obviously I wasn’t that and I thought no more of that subject.

But I knew other things too, historically, globally. Why things were the way they were and also how they needed to be. My children called it the “Gospel according to Mum” but I had an answer for everything, and not just an answer but an explanation and even sometimes a solution that transcended my education on topics as diverse as what happened to the Mayans, to the Final Solution, to the decision making of the Australian Cricket board of selectors. And I don’t even like cricket.

So it was back to the mental illness route. Bi-polar’s think they know everything and ok, I didn’t really have bouts of unexplained depression or unbelievable highs and there was no explanation for all this energy, the itchy and scratchy as I had come to call it, but I didn’t have anything else, so bi-polar it was. I was finally boxed. And that did fill me with a certain kind of peace, not the diagnosis itself, but the box. Obviously my bi-polar manifested differently. I could accept that.

I left my husband quietly one evening. We had had a ‘fight’ a few days before and he had gone out on a drinking and drug binge so I hadn’t seen him for a while. I was in the kitchen with my boys making dinner when my seven year old son looked up at me with sad and fearful little eyes and asked haltingly, ‘Mum. Am I going to grow up to be a murderer?’ As shocked as I was, I regained my composure and with as much gentleness and lightheartedness as I could muster, replied ‘No. Of course not. Why?’ and I will never forget his chilling response: “Because murderers have dad’s who hit their mum’s.’ I was 24 years old when I packed our bags for the very last time.

My energy settled. No more itchy and scratchy. I took care of myself and my children and put us all back together. I saw my clients. I exercised. I did everything right. Sometimes I’d still get so hot I thought I was going to burn alive and sometimes I still couldn’t sleep, afraid I was going to fall into the abyss and never wake up. But I was good, as in better, and I had never been better before.

But then I met him, and by him I mean them. Three years of self imposed celibacy and I declared myself ready to re-enter the world of men and dating. After all I was fixed. I could spot a wanker a mile off and I had all the tools to make sure I would never be used or abused again. Or so I thought. Most of the time I really did. I was charming and lovely and witty and confidence itself, but every two years or so I met somebody I could not get over. There was nothing to explain this. These men were no more good looking or smart or funny or special then any of the others. I didn’t ‘want’ them any more than any one else. We would go out for less than three months and usually less that three weeks, there was no reason for me to be attached and once, I was even the one who instigated the break up, but they were ‘special’ in that they brought the energy back. With each of them, we would do nothing more than look into each others eyes and just bask in the love and energy between us. We just wanted to ‘eat’ each other and every time I would think, this is it, this will be the one that stays, this will be the one that can handle this level of connection. But none of them could. And I couldn’t work it out. I knew they loved me. In fact there were many times I’m sure I knew they loved me a lot more than I loved them but they still couldn’t stay. And I worked myself into a tizz, trying to work out what I was doing wrong, why it always ended the same way, why it hurt so damn much when sometimes I wasn’t even sure I liked them. And then berating myself for being so mental and stupid and having such abysmal taste in men. But they all said the same thing – ‘I didn’t choose you’. Comforting. I remember arguing with one of them once. We were walking home from a date and he started breaking up with me. When I asked why, he looked at me and shouted “because I f**king love you and I don’t want to’. And so it went.

It was also around this time that I met Beck. Beautiful ditzy, loopy, psychic Becky who assured me every one of them loved me and every one of them would come back and held my hand when none of them did. Thank God I had her. I can imagine how much I would have spent on fortune tellers if I hadn’t. Whilst her own skills were still in their infancy, we were a couple of fairly misguided but well meaning 27 year olds, she did open my eyes to spirituality and metaphysics and the magic of the Universe, if only of the Doreen Virtue kind. She kind of lost me with the fairies and mermaids but at least I had somewhere else to look. The energetic sensations were back with a vengeance and now I could ‘feel’ people with me. I had always known bi-polar didn’t fit and now I was determined to find what did. I learnt that there was energy, chi and reiki and prana, I still hadn’t read about anyone feeling it like I did but at least I thought it might be possible now, I mean if it could be channeled then surely it must be ‘felt’.

I once visited a local spiritual store owned by a witch. When she asked me what I was, I replied ‘I’m a healer’ with enormous confidence I didn’t even know I had because I had seriously never thought that was what I was, most of the time, I just thought I was mental. She replied with a knowing smile and a ‘yes, you are’.

But I didn’t really care. My heart was still aching and I was still in that selfish place that insecure people sometimes find themselves in, where everything just hurts too much to be of value to anyone else. But I had answers now, energy was real, and there were soul mates and twin flames and I read everything I could. Most of it completely delusional but I would read late into the night certain that this time I had found it, the logical explanation that would change my life only to wake up the next morning and think ‘what the’ until the energy got so strong I would be looking again at the same mental stuff which I think ended up scaring me more than actually helping.

After five years of searching, and another five psychotic episodes (even though I was medicated), I found Steve. It would be terribly dramatic to say just in time, I had had dark thoughts, more than dark thoughts and I was getting very tired of picking myself up from the kitchen floor where I’d been curled up in the foetal position crying my heart out for two hours, but whilst I had thought about it, it seemed terribly selfish to just end it especially when I had children.

Steve called me a ‘karmic light’ in our first session, destined to wake up and destined to wake up others, a kind of karmic responsibility for having been woken up myself. He also confirmed that I was a natural born healer which accounted for my psychotic symptoms, my energy just got too high and out of control – while that controller in my head could not explain what was happening to me and so made up a story. He validated my experience with such compassion and down to earth explanations that I knew it was right. It would be another year before I would accept it was right. The energy had led me on an eternal quest for truth but my fear of my energy had made me an atheist. I wanted answers but couldn’t find them so if I didn’t believe in it, it couldn’t be true and it couldn’t hurt me.

I started Ptsen Nuh a few weeks later. And it hurt. Everyday. I learnt the basic energy management and emotional release skills but my heart wasn’t really in it. Well, my heart was in it, but I just wanted the man back and when it didn’t look like that was going to happen then I kind of gave up, had another psychotic episode and started all over again. But this time, my psychosis was managed through energy techniques, not medication.

This time, I was much more committed. This was my sanity at stake here not some silly little relational drama. As a natural born empath and healer, I had too much energy, hence the itchy and scratchy. I need a clear energetic system lest it all go to my head and brings on the mental.

Sometimes I hated Steve, I really did, I thought he was arrogant and pompous and I was tired of being spoonfed tiny little tidbits, I wanted to know everything now dammit and for someone with no boundaries that was one of the hardest lessons to learn. But learn and release I did and I realised that what I had mistook for arrogance was really just discipline and his refusal to pander to my inner pity party. He was just exercising the sort of disciplines and boundaries that I needed and went on to learn.

But learn and release I did. I did give up work for a while. I lost my job (circumstances completely out of my control) and broke up with a boyfriend in the same week three times in the last few years and I thought it was time I listened to the Universe and just did the damn work instead of flailing about in self pity again.

I needed to. And so I dug right down to my boot straps on a search and destroy mission to weasel out every little bit of remaining trauma and pain and vulnerability.

And now I have learnt not only how to control my energy but how to rock it as well, to find not just peace and contentment, but confidence and wisdom and grace as well as my ‘silly’ beans, which had been repressed so many years before in response to an unfortunate relationship.

And it’s true. There is no aha moment. Just a gentle unfolding and realization of how everything is and how it always needed to be that way.

At the time, this work was bloody horrendous and it’s taken me nearly a year to get here but now I can’t quite work out for the life of me what all the fuss was about.

And now I can stand with my feet planted firmly on earth and right in the middle of the Universe at the same time. Wow.

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If you want to know about a soul connection you will not find out about it from anyone else's story even if they seem similar because every situation so unique thats why we don't feature the stories .. Soul connection articles on the general issues and principles can be found here but to find about about your own unique situation it needs to looked at individually which can only come from an individual consultation.]

I was 19 when I met my soul connection, although I remember having a sense of him as early as four years old. Now and then I’d wonder but I never consciously set out to find him.

I had prolonged my visit to my home town because I had felt a lump and further tests had to be carried out. Romance was the last thing on my mind when, in a pub, a friend of his came over and asked for my phone number on his behalf. I began to say no but when I looked over and saw him, pretending to be so enthralled by his beer coaster, I felt a rush of affection and recognition. He was not my usual type but I felt the pull. His friend said she was taking the bull by the horns as we looked like we belonged together. This was an odd thing to say considering I was a grungy student, and he was an older, clean cut blonde twice my size. He didn’t talk to me that night but he did ring and so it began. From reading all the stories on Steve’s website I’d say the next part was similar to most soul connections, we were intoxicated by each other, it was like finding home.

The lump was a tumour the size of a gob stopper but I woke up from the four hour operation radiantly happy, and it had nothing to do with the morphine. The surgeon said the news was not good, it looked malignant and further tests would probably confirm this. All I could think was yeah right, now move along would you, I’m expecting company. I did not for a second believe the tumour was serious, I was always lucky and now that I had meet him my life was just getting started. I was right the tests proved it was benign, but my luck was about to run out.

He visited me at university and I meet his parents. He clearly had issues with them and I felt his seething anger. That night we lay together and there was a tremendous energy surge between us, it was overwhelming and undeniable, he joked it was like fire crackers going off. The next morning he had terror in his eyes, he started to jog and then he ran. What followed was runner insanity at it’s finest. The next time I saw him he told me I was too young, he didn’t consider me his girl friend, he wanted to see other woman but he would regret it for the rest of his life. He begged me not to start smoking again because he was leaving me. I was bewildered, was this guy worried about me or his taxes? He then said he’d made a mistake, and would come over on Sunday to talk about it. He didn’t show, instead he turned up at the pub with a new girlfriend who shared my colouring, stature and even my name. This was too much! I had a trip planned to visit my sister in London, so I brought it forward. But before I left I sent him a letter wishing him and the raven haired tart he had replaced me with all the happiness in the world. He rang, told me she was not like me and wanted to write to me while I was away.

I told no one that my heart had just been ripped out. I think I was in soul shock, I couldn’t talk about it, I couldn’t even cry. I had assumed the trip would help me get over it but it didn’t. I would walk around London in circles, in the snow, completely miserable despite being in such an incredible city. I’d replay every conversation in my head and when I wasn’t doing that I would listen to a music cd that synchronistically chronologized the rise and fall of our brief affair. My most striking memory of that period was an old homeless man with one arm calling out to me ‘Cheer up love it’s Christmas’. He did send a card but it said little and I ripped it up, along with the 17 page letter I had for him and ceremoniously threw it in the Thames. I visited friends in Spain but those Spanish were so darn upbeat and full of life that I left early and then wandered around France alone and dazed. I felt abandoned by the universe but it really was through a series of miracles that I made it home in one piece. My mother would have had a fit if she’d known what I was up to. I ran into him before I went back to university and he asked me if I’d had a good trip but it was more an accusation than a question. We were both suffering but both proud and I told him I had a fantastic time and had been too busy to reply to the card. He was still with her.

I was so frustrated with myself, I wanted the old me back and was determined to get him out of my system. I rebounded into a relationship I knew was not right for me. If the soul connection left my self esteem in the toilet then this guy flushed the chain. I saw him, three years later, at a train station, he was so relieved to find me, we hugged and kissed and the depth of love in his eyes took my breath away. By then I’d had almost three years of being subjected to abuse on a daily basis and he just made me feel so beautiful and special. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him if he wanted to run away to Vegas, but my partner interrupted us and I bolted. That look of adoration set off many of my triggers. I couldn’t live up to who he thought I was , I’d surely disappoint him. No, it was better he remembered me as perfect besides I couldn’t go through it again if he left me. Nice little twist there universe, now who was the runner? That was the last time I saw him.

So I married the wrong man and bore his children. 14 years down the track I convinced myself life was peachy. Sure my relationship was still dysfunctional but I had a truck load of psychology books and plans to fix him. At least I had fantastic kids and friends and a lovely home. I still thought about him, heard he had never been the same after our brief time together but it had finally after so many years lost it’s sting. It would be absurd to revisit it especially since I’d done such a fine job of burying it. Well the universe didn’t think so and got out a shovel. One day, almost a year ago now, I did the unthinkable. I told my secret to my best friend, the whole saga from beginning to end, and how much I had hurt. And just like that, it ignited. The rollercoaster started all over again but this time it had been modified and was even more of a wild ride. I couldn’t eat or sleep properly, my heart felt like it was being pulled out of my chest and my stomach was churned day and night. I would listen to our cd over and over and I had vivid dreams about him. I finally read a book he had given me but for passive aggressive reasons I had decided never to read and it was yet another splinter in my heart. I thought maybe I was going crazy, it was over 14 years ago!

I had my tarot cards read, at a local fair, and twin soul/ soul mate cards came up, she did it again, same cards. It sounded so flakey but I couldn’t resist googling it and I eventually found Steve’s website. His articles just made so much sense but the idea of ringing him seemed outrageous, I was married with children, I needed to fight off what ever was happening to me. The day I drove off leaving my poor child in the stroller on the foot path, thank goodness for rear vision mirrors, is the day I thought you need help to function and I went home and made the appointment. He said how about now?!! Steve in an hour explained the situation which had baffled me for 14 years. It helped so much but the cravings to be with him were still just as unbearable. We were living in different countries but I found his work address online and I couldn’t resist sending him a letter and that cd . I haven’t heard back but I’m confident he got it because several days later I felt excitement, a hot flush from head to toe, and could feel him smile as he read it. It was a much kinder letter than the first but it still teased the crap out of him.

Then came Pten Nuh... This will change your life and get you in touch with your soul, it’s that simple and that grand.

Steve drove me nuts at first, who was he anyway to tell me that my ego monster was out of control? How rude?!! Mine did what any self respecting ego monster would do, I more or less sent him a n outline of my CV to prove he wasn’t dealing with an idiot. He had to be the idiot. I checked out his photo on his face book page, was this guy operating out of some sort of underground bunker or what? (Later scrolled down and realised he was probably in a helicopter, doh, sorry Steve) But I was just like every body else and had to do the work and apply the discipline. Slowly but surely the layers of constructs came off, and as they did I was released from the pain and the craving of the connection but also all the other junk that held me back from really living. It became less about the relationship and more about what the connection was making me face about my own development and karma. And it was then and only then that I was ready to move on to my spiritual awakening. I started to feel my own energy and it was as frightening as it was exhilarating. I am so grateful to Steve for helping me manage this transition and giving me the means to own it and work with it and I am so profoundly humbled by the universe for loving me enough me to put me on this new path. I am leaving the abusive relationship, the house, and so many other things behind me, something that would have been incomprehensible to me before the Pandora’s box flew open, and before PN, but it feels right.

I am finally off that roller coaster and can now check out what all the other exhibits have to offer. I’m just getting started but there seems to be plenty more attractions in this intriguing energetic … I still love the soul connection just as much, even more, but I have acceptance now that it was never just about the relationship even though it seemed that was all it was about. I know one day we will at least reconnect but I have no expectations from that.

And right now I’m more interested in testing driving the new me.

A dear friend I hadn’t seen me in a while asked me how I was and I blurted ‘Oh I’m fundamentally different’

She was a bit taken back, but it was a sincere answer.

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First availability is around mid July 2010 but I’m happy to take pre-orders.

All copies will sell for below list price and include a signed personal message or gift message if required free of charge..

The link is http://stevegunn.net/wtsc

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And then when people have been through the process and look back and try to tell others – they find other people don’t believe them.

It’s often said that “if it was this good it would be on Oprah” – well it is that good but it wont be on Oprah because people dont believe it can be that good.. Usually at the end of the work “why isn’t this stuff on Oprah its so amazing”…

As in all things its embedded human cynicism, the stuff we all have some of, the disease of judging and being judged for decades…mixed in with some desperately bad myths being confused with the metaphysics on popular websites – offering things that are at best variable and often have no lasting effect. It is really about good technique and training.

In the meantime, it works, it changes lives, it brings happiness..and it isn’t discriminatory.. Its working with the very power of being….the power in your existance…showing you that you are the miracle…

Yes its hard work, if you donl’t want to work at it forget it.. but if you do you’ll spend less effort doing the work that you put into stressing about life

Luna offered her feedback and gave me permission to post it…

People get frustrated that I am content. I tend to laugh about everything going on around me then, it offends someone because I’m so light-hearted. my laughing gets me into trouble. I keep my boundaries up when someone attacks. I’m sorry for them, but there is no need to get upset. this one guy always says I agitate him w/my objectivity, he gets infuriated! LOL

The hard part is getting started. When all this began, I panicked because it overwhelmed me, but there is nothing to be overwhelmed about. I just need to be pointed in the right direction. that’s the problem with being a beginner and your techniques helped me in so many ways, I don’t know how to thank you.

A link to Luna’s blog – the Cosmic Force Blog – is on the links menu ( left )

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If you want to know about a soul connection you will not find out about it from anyone else's story even if they seem similar because every situation so unique thats why we don't feature the stories .. Soul connection articles on the general issues and principles can be found here but to find about about your own unique situation it needs to looked at individually which can only come from an individual consultation.]

In her own words…..

Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God….and, by this means to save his soul…Ignatius of Loyola.

At ten years old I started a journey to become Catholic; coming from an Atheist family this was not easy, as it was not until my forties that I was finally confirmed. It was a beautiful event. I was home, or so I thought.

Then I connected with my Soul-mate…Not religion, nor God, could get me out of this one…

I had just been married in June, 2001. He was the wrong man, and I knew it. I had meningitis and a man I had never heard of named Padre Pio came to my dreams and told me. I returned from our honeymoon in a wheelchair, and shortly after the attacks on September 11th, I was diagnosed with a non-cancerous brain tumor. My new husband left saying he “did not want a sick wife,” which led to spending the next few years in bed getting sicker, trying to take care of two kids alone, and watching the war on television. Eventually my 16 year old son was told it was time to put me in assisted living and move on with his life. We decided that was an unacceptable outcome and packed our belongings, moving away from the only place that felt like home, at least a little.

Re-locating to a place with specialized care for the illness from which I had hoped to recover proved to be more difficult than we expected. Mostly all the doctors had to say was, “I didn’t go to medical school long enough,” which led to more moving around.

I thought I knew suffering…Then, I saw my soul-mate, and he was on the other side of the world fighting in a war.

It seemed funny to me to sit in my room and find the internet. I had been alone and secluded for so many years, this seemed like it could be kinda cool. I tried to look up an old friend on one of the social networking sites, and discovered you could actually meet people from every walk of life. What a treat. Could I just put in a name and location? It seemed possible, so I thought of a name and a country which felt interesting, and a man caught my attention. However, it appeared he was in the military and I knew nothing about that kind of life. I was not sure if I could intrude in such a way; yet, I always wished I could do more to support the soldiers and believed it might be nice to be pen pals.

I had never known bliss, but what followed was just like Heaven. The minute I laid eyes on his photo, it was like I had fallen into some alternate universe that I had never heard of or seen before, where passion was only sweet. One small note containing just a few words with a single thought speaking to me, “this one is about the heart, so don’t play your stupid games,” and the journey of my life began. The next two years would change my life forever. The peace, joy, comfort and love that we shared in our letters made me feel whole and I got up. First with a wheel-chair, then a walker, and pretty soon I was running 5 miles a day and doing Yoga.

It wasn’t real, right? I mean, I had long since come to terms with the idea that I had in fact gone crazy, but I didn’t care. If this was crazy, sign me up! My life was changing, my son’s life was changing, my entire family was changing. I was better and they were healing too. What could possibly go wrong?

I will never forget that feeling…The first time he ran. I had finally got up the courage to ask for an important favor. It was pretty simple really; please let me know if you ever decide to leave…Followed by ten days of silence. I waited in severe pain. I had not told anyone about this relationship, but I needed someone to talk to, so I called my best friend and asked her to come from out of town. I explained, “I don’t know what’s wrong, but I am in so much emotional pain I can’t get up off the floor. I am literally rolled up in a little ball on the floor and I can’t stop crying.” Our visit had been enough for me to believe I could now leave it all behind. I explained my plan to “just let it go.” Her response still haunts me, “good luck with that.”

By the end of the week-end, I had heard from him and we re-connected; therefore, whatever that was I had been through, I was just glad it was over and very thankful I would never have to go through it again.

The relationship became intense. There was so much going on I could barely keep up. We had our own language, patterns, habits… We shared each other’s wounds. If one was hurt the other would get the same injury, if one was sick the other was sick, if one of us had a problem the other had the same…If we listened to music and wrote about it, the other had been listening to the same thing. These types of occurrences went on and on. They were shocking to me at first, but eventually it just became normal. We touched each other’s lives, we were there for each other, and we loved, simply. It was beautiful; it was innocent.

You could feel the energy from across the world. It was getting closer and closer to time to talk about “it.” He ran…I ran…At my best friend’s urging, I stopped, and fell back down on the floor rolled into a little ball. I gave it time…and, more time. I prayed. I went to church. I went to therapy. I literally started running up to two hours a day. The beautiful bubble I had been living in had in fact become a hole; a very, very deep, dark hole.

Things were happening in my life that I could not explain, and I could not escape the pain. It got so much worse as time went on, all I had left to do was search. My entire life became consumed by thoughts and questions. I looked for answers every place I could think of; yet, every time I thought I had my head wrapped around it, the pain would return tenfold. I referred to it as, “The Bounce.”

In utter desperation, and with some reluctance, I decided to do some research on Soul-mate connections. I had never had much experience with love and I didn’t really believe in the whole idea of a ‘Soul-Mate,’ nevertheless, I had tried everything else with no relief, so why not.

I was lucky…The first site I came across was Steve’s. I don’t know how long I sat there, but it was a long time, hours. I just stared at the screen, crying. Eventually, I decided it was all to “airy-fairy,” for me and went to my Aunt’s farm to “get over it.” There was just enough space to believe I was finally cured. However, the minute I returned, things took shape in a way that I could not avoid the reality that this wasn’t over for either one of us. I wrote a letter taking all of the responsibility for my end of the running, and he let me. We re-started just where we had left off, as if nothing had ever happened.

We were both so happy, yet, so insecure. We stepped things up and got a little more open. It was getting harder and harder not to express this passion; the need, the desires…and, with what felt like the loudest BANG, they were soon revealed. And, he ran…again.

I didn’t have a clue what was going on, but there was one thing of which I had become certain, he was: ‘A Runner.’ I recalled the words from Steve’s page, and I was not going to bail him out this time. The only thing I knew was that it was serious and the pain was intolerable. I couldn’t get out of bed, but I could not go to sleep either. When I did sleep, I dreamt of him, of us, and I would wake screaming and sweating. It had become such a normal part of my routine that I stopped bothering to change my clothes. Trying not to cry became second nature to the agony of just trying to breathe. I felt like I was in a battle so primal, and I was not sure if cared enough to win.

I became reckless and careless. I started to drink alcohol, and smoke more than two packs of cigarettes a day. These behaviors had to be kept to myself, due to an awareness of how those around me would be impacted, after such a long, tenuous fight with my health, especially for someone who had not touched liquor in years.

I managed my life on a wing and a prayer doing the absolute minimum required. I could see the future and it wasn’t good. The only thing clear was the knowledge that this dark pain was endless, and there was a possibility that I was in real danger. So, I enlisted “help.”…A lot of help. I went to a Priest, a Neuro-psychologist, a couple of different therapists, a spiritual guidance counselor, started taking medication, got a Buddhist mentor and spent more than four hours a day in the gym, running, doing Yoga, crying through it all. I talked to my closest, wisest friends, who were very supportive, patient, and kind. I threw up a lot and could not eat. I literally could not understand the words people were saying. Sentences were too hard to follow and nothing made any sense. It all sounded like low pitched static. I was hallow, empty, and on auto-pilot. I had reached zombie status.

On top of all the pain, there was “A Beast” inside of my head leading me around in circles, typically blaming myself, trying to make sense of it. How could this be happening? Mostly, all I did was sit and stare, usually at my computer. Time became unclear. It was narrow, wide, slow, fast, until at some point, it just stopped. Every day, every minute, had become another step deeper into hell. I could no longer pray or play my piano. I could not even pet my cat or speak to my son. Most of my friends and family didn’t know what was wrong with me, but you could feel the stillness in the air, as if they were holding their last breath afraid to ask the question, was I sick again?

Yea…I was sick. I was soul sick. This was much worse than a tumor. There wasn’t a path to heal this one, at least not that I could find, and I knew I was well on the road to becoming physically sick again too. Had it not been for what I had just survived with my health, I think I would have let it take me away. Death seemed like a much simpler solution.

Terrified and almost embarrassed to use the words, “Soul Mate,” I was at a dramatic crossroads and the only thing left to do was contact Steve. The fear I had when I pressed the send button was intense. How could I explain that I had come to put my life in his hands? Would he really understand? Would he respond?

Yes…He did. I have never been so scared. It felt like good news and bad news….someone understood, and there was a chance at recovery; however, it wasn’t going to be easy. Time and discipline were necessary, and the hardest part for me was the requirement of objective thinking. My head had become stuck in one subjective place on one subjective thing: figuring out why this man left me. I had long since lost the ability to process language that was about anything else; hence, my first conversation with Steve was frustrating. Nonetheless, he was clear and spoke directly to the monster in my head with patience and resolve, and he gave me an assignment.

Steve explained that all I had to do was follow his directions and I would feel better quickly. I was certain that it would be different for me, and besides, I didn’t really believe him. It all seemed too easy for someone as broken as I was, so I added my own little twists on his instructions. Again, with firm compassion, he would re-direct me back to doing things exactly as he had said, and it began to work.

I was so far gone; I could not even identify what he meant when he said “it works.” Until I started to feel a little better and it occurred to me…The goal is to feel good and be happy again. I remember thinking, “Oh, this is what’s going on? I can get my life back.”

Shortly after, I went to Hawaii to see my family, and it felt like there were painful “triggers” every where. I had brought Steve’s book, “When Two Souls Connect,” and decided to read it. I was astonished to learn that someone else had been through this. The fact that he had taken the time to write it all down made me feel more than grateful.

Even on vacation, I knew I had to keep up the work. One night in particular, I had a dream about this man which was so intense that I got out of bed and went outside. When I opened the door there were so many stars it felt like I was drowning in bright light. The wind was blowing hard all around me and it was raining a little. I stood in the middle of the street and asked God to “please bring him back.” and, once again, asked, “Why me?” The pain had returned, and I felt lost, but a strong voice inside my head said, “just do the exercises as you have been taught.”

I didn’t know how it was all working. I had the intelligence and education to understand Steve when he explained that there was much more to what he had me doing than what I could see, so I decided to just do it. I became teachable and followed along. I learned. I “became a predator to the pain.” I searched for it and released it. Life kept throwing me a lot of punches, as did the man I loved so much. One night just before I was about to go to bed, it felt like we were in battle, even though we had not talked in so long. At this point, I thought I was prepared for anything he could do to hurt me, and I said out loud, “Go ahead, hit me with your best shot.” He did.

When I woke up, I turned on my computer. My iTunes was on shuffle, and while I was checking my email a specific song came on and I thought, “check everything.” He was gone. He had cut off every avenue of connection and communication. Two years of building had been torn down. A new song came on called, “Home,” and my body shook. I felt like an unknown source of energy had pushed me off of my chair. The pain came out of my mouth in a voice I had never heard before. I was back on the floor and the hits just kept coming. I was flooded with memories. Steve was right, “this was about my [your] whole life.” I could see my family wound and how it had grown like a cancer in all of the women who had come before me. I could see my Nana and I felt the pain of her death for the first time. I felt the pain of all the women in my family on both sides who had lost their husbands to war early in life. I felt what it was like for them to live out the rest of their lives alone.

I don’t know exactly how I got there, but some how I found a way to the phone and the edge of my bed. I sat there for a long time crying uncontrollably. I tried to call Steve, but the phone wouldn’t work. I had to go to work, and some how whether or not I could find a way to heal this and get there was representing the whole thing. I knew I had a choice to make, but how could I? It felt like I was trying to go against destiny. Then I remembered Steve saying to me, “it’s going to end with you,” and I chose. I dialed the phone over and over until he was finally on the line and we did the exercises together. Some how, after about 15 minutes, I was okay. I went to work, and each time the pain returned, I went to the restroom and did the exercises. By the end of the day, I was happy again.

It was about belonging in the home I had with my Nana, the person who defined the core of who I am. It was about her death, and the hell that followed as I watched my mother and our family decay with the loss. And, how that suffering led to my abandonment and homelessness at age 14, in a town without a culture for a child left alone, like an animal who survives while enduring bone crushing loneliness. It was about the home all the women on both sides of my family had and lost when their husbands passed. It was about a journey; a walk in sweet rhythm with a man who possesses an extraordinary heart, where home was found in the connection of our souls.

The next day at the gym is one that I will always remember with clarity. I was standing there talking to someone who I had not seen for a long time, or if I had, I didn’t notice. At some point, I realized I was having a real conversation, making real plans, and I could suddenly see the world around me again. I knew in that moment, I had my life back. I was back. I wasn’t the same, as it was now a life healed. It was the lives of all the women who came before me healed. The baby had been born and it was beautiful. It was life. It was love.

The tools I learned have provided me with a chance to clear out the dark, painful energy I had been carrying all of my life. It was blocking me from feeling anything else, and physically it felt like I carried the weight as an albatross around my neck. Through the techniques I have managed the most painful emotions I have ever known, and I am now calm, as if I have a clean palette. It is a bit like feeling everything for the first time. I am happy.

I thought I knew myself, then I met my Soul Mate, and through the techniques and a lot of hard work, I have been able to move on with creating a new life for myself. I think the one thing for which I have the most appreciation is the speed at which it worked. So, if you are a person going through this phenomenon; if you feel lost, and the pain seems endless, keep the faith. There is hope. If it seems like your life, your self, your soul, has been ripped apart and there is no way to find happiness again, just hang on, there is a way to freedom. Because, if you do this work, there will be something very special waiting on the other side. There will be peace.

My life today is so remarkably different. I ride my bike around listening to my music, singing along to the songs. I no longer fear the songs that remind me of anything sad. I am able to truly forgive and am fully capable of loving with an open heart. I feel blessed to have had this journey and the opportunity to connect with the women who walked before me. I no longer feel as if I have to suffer as they did. For, they are now integrated into my soul as the best part of who I am, and at times it seems as if they are up in Heaven cheering me on. It feels like joy and speaks to me of Grace.

As far as this man is concerned, it often still feels like he is right in the next room. I am happy and comfortable to let this pure love I feel for him live in my heart, as a warm gift to my soul, rather than a burden to carry. Although I don’t understand or know what would cause the need to run, I have compassion, and I am at peace with it. I pray for him and hope he is okay, nonetheless, I have changed. I could no longer imagine a situation in which I would be willing to give without reverence to the truth.

Before this process, I had this ball of old, dark emotion living inside of me, and I was completely at the mercy of my thoughts about it. In turn, I had become profoundly ineffective in my need for renewal and change. Now, most of the time I live in the space of equanimity without having to give credence to all the judgment, or noise, inside of my head. I have the ability to just, ‘let it be,’ and stay focused on what is in front of me.

I am able to function in my life again and have clarity about the path ahead. I am starting school in the fall to finish my degree and then move on to graduate school in a year. I have a well structured plan to go into Human Rights and have signed up to work with the best organizations in the field. I am back to doing my Yoga and will return to Hawaii this summer to begin instructor training. I have resumed my running, and all of the injuries that plagued me have healed, or are in the process of healing, especially my neck pain. An MRI of my neck had revealed issues that could only be fixed through surgery, but I no longer have any pain and am better without it. I was also given my bi-annual brain scan and my tumor was gone. Hence, I am in the process of going through the medical system, so they can try to ascertain how to support me in moving from a ‘dis-abled’ life to an ‘able-bodied’ life.

For the first time in years I have a little job. Most importantly, I am able to have fun. I have met amazing new friends and reconnected with people from my past who I had lost touch with during this time. I have wonderful, beautiful people around me with whom I have opened up and shared my story. They have been supportive, kind, and loving. They have treated me with compassion and respect. I am able to be around my kids again, and explaining all of this to my son has brought us closer together and given new depth to our relationship. I can pet my cat and he is back to running all around the house.

Even though I am still just a ‘Gypsy Girl,’ I am at home with it, for I feel worthy wherever I am, and I no longer ask God for that which we can do for ourselves. I only pray for strength and courage, and give thanks for the tools I have been given to manage and release pain; for the knowledge and understanding that I am fully capable of accessing the miracle that is our God given natural ability to heal ourselves.

http://healmyenergy.com

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Q. You specialize in soul connections ?

A. Incorrect – I specialize in working with the universe – her forces and influences through multiple disciplines ( reading, energy work etc ) that cover any and all aspects of the human spiritual experience..

In order to really understand anything – for example soul connections or any other profound spiritual experience it must be that way, or it becomes myth and mysticism and isn’t in context of the mechanisms meaning and purpose of the real universe.

If particular segments of my work such as soul connections or new energy techniques receive profile, its because of this understanding the overall mechanisms and how they all relate, not from focus on only one area.

Q. Psychic Guidance readings don’t make predictions ?

A. Incorrect – Psychic Guidance readings do make predictions – people like me make predictions every day…but always predictions of those things that are able to be predicted i.e that which is defined on your path by destiny and are outside of your control . The other things, things that are your freewill will not be predicted or they wouldn’t be your choices and freewill would they ?

relevant articles ;
The Misunderstood Metaphysics of Destiny
Reader or Feeder ?
Psychic Reading or Mind Reading ?

Q. You ( Psychic Guidance Readings ) don’t give timings ?

A. Incorrect – This isn’t about how I read or anyone else reads its about how destiny works. Destiny defines some things in a time frame and some things in an order, not both, Therefore its easily possible to read time on some elements of destiny and impossible on others, because its the actions of you and others that will define the timing..

( Any reading from a belief that all and any aspects of the future can be read – is known as fortune telling. Unfortunately most people think this is psychic reading because fortune telling is the most common form. Here we use the terms “Psychic Guidance – to give clarity to those who get confused between the two and wish for the real thing, that which has the tradition and history of professional psychic guidance.. )

relevant articles ;
Psychic Reading or Fortune Telling ?
The Metaphysics of Divine Timing
Read the psychic Guidance Code of Practise here

Q. You do this because you believe / don’t believe in [whatever]?

A. Incorrect – It has to be objectivity…I don’t bring any beliefs into it.

What’s sort of weird ( because of cultural issues ) is that you would expect your doctor, plumber, chiropractor and dog groomer to work from the best practices rather than personal belief i.e the law, medicine etc yet all too often we assign spirituality to personal belief and preference instead..

Its in having enough discipline and training to be as personally detached from what we get as we can, that we can objectively see and not interpret it through the filter of our own subjective perception. Many would argue this isn’t possible but with a lot of training, especially in the more advanced and powerful energy disciplines ( because they require that ) , it gets more and more possible.



Q. I need to send you my story – you will then understand

A. Incorrect – People get very offended when they send me a story prior to a consultation and I explain that I don’t read them.

Thats not because I don’t care it’s because their story is their story, its what they perceive from what happened to them. And although very important to them – it cannot be the basis for a consultation which will be me psychically looking at all the stuff behind the scenes, the things the person can’t see, such as thoughts, forces and events – and especially how that will pan out.

It’s at this point the person can plug that information in to what they experienced and we see the “aha”
Even more importantly with that understanding they can make the choices that will influence the future.

Q. My situation is exactly the same as ( case study / Robert & Fiona / book example etc )

A. Incorrect – All situations are very different as are the issues, life paths, karma etc. Just because situationally you may compare your situation to someone else’s or you know how it felt for them it does not mean anything is the same or the outcome will be the same.

BY all means take heart that you aren’t the only one to have gone through something but don’t project further than that if you want to be true to your individual situation….

I write a lot about cosmic law and the rules of the universe, these are the same for all of us and we can’t escape it and the case studies and stories are to illustrate these and other principles and only that… BUT on the individual level each life path is different, each connection, each level of progression, each set of experiences, emotional wounds, thoughts, situations, each set of karma etc etc etc..

Never apply what happened to someone else’s story to your own.. Never go for the “all runners do this” or other generalizations like that unless its about cosmic law or the human systems, or techniques ..

Get a full and proper reading, I assure you it will be different from the other cases even if the laws of the universe still apply to it overall.. Sadly people have stayed in a stuck place for so long because of assumptions they made on the basis of something they read that seemed similar and really that was only the surface story.

When you are clear whats happening and why in your individual situation, and even more importantly how you can change things then you are empowered.

Q. Why won’t you publish stories of soul connections etc ?

A. Same as above – All situations are very different as are the issues,
When you are clear whats happening and why in your individual situation, and even more importantly how you can change things then you are empowered.

Many people don’t like this and don’t agree with it but there’s nothing I will do to foster the “feel-good” aspect from someone else’s situation when spirituality is ALL about understanding the real situation your in and feeling good about IT!!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spirituality

Q. Why won’t you continually publish articles and facebook texts ?

A. It’s not what I do – It will never be that I publish a stream of material for topical consumption – no “spiritual quote of the day” that’s another field entirely – this is to use articles to introduce the concepts, approach, understanding and techniques that many won’t have come across.

Without the work that follows the articles themselves will never achieve anything – they’re just there as an intro to demonstrate the sort of work people like me do to help other transform their lives in ways they possibly didn’t realize they could, with tools they didn’t know existed and to learn to understand their situations better and to learn how to make change…

Some people will ( and do ) integrate what i write with other peoples material to try to grasp a concept here or there and they often write to me saying why doesn’t my stuff agree with someone else’s or they’re confused between the two things.. I really don’t spend any time getting into discussion as my stuff is not meant to feed into the consensus, its really just exactly to serve the singular purpose mentioned above.

That’s not arrogant I don’t say it’s any better or worse than anyone else’s its just what it is but there’s a lot of work behind most of it.

Q. I can’t meditate because my mind is too busy

A. Incorrect – I’ve not yet met anyone who didn’t say or think this and happily myself and other have been disproving it for many years.

The issue is the techniques.. you ain’t gonna do this from a book or a CD..but you can be taught in just under an hour and have it available for the rest of your life. Most people are astonished how powerful it is when using the right techniques – and equally astonished at how few good techniques there are available amidst the mass of information.

Q. If I consult you won’t you want me to do energy work, meditate, etc?

A. Incorrect – I never understand this perception – I do readings, give spiritual counseling, and teach many many different disciplines from meditation to tarot to psychic development, energy work, Ptsen-Nuh etc but you don’t have to use any of them you can just have a reading or pick whichever you want whenever you want or not.

Q. What do you mean by “do the work” I’m reading and trying to learn all I can

A. Inner work – The body grows and changes and so does the soul, the energy…

Just as you have products to care for your physical body, hair products, skin products, nail products…what about for the energy – the soul ?

In the East if we were stressed we may be out doing Tai Chi and releasing it, working on the chi to flow to heal and relax ourselves. We may be meditating, we may be doing Yoga.. These are essentials in maintaining balance…

But generally not in the West – well cigarettes alcohol drugs and food are more the western approach if there’s any.. Also in the west we more intellectualize things and read about them rather than actually working with the energy.

And so from the most basic meditation all the way up to something as powerful as Ptsen-Nuh, and many techniques in between, there are a number of techniques that can relax you, remove emotional wounds, free up your energy, help heal your body, and close down the over active destructive aspects of thought…

We know that your destiny is an energy as is karma, and so as we change our energy we change our interaction with the universe.. If you read the case studies there’s no accident that as these examples changed their energies things around them changed too…

And so “the work” is to put the books down and start learning some essential life tools that will transform you. You don’t have to learn my techniques but learn something that works and is proven and you won’t look back..

If you do want to work with me that’s great – there are so many different levels of work ( too many to list individually ) just tell me what you’d like to achieve and I’ll recommend what’s right for your situation.



Q. Is Fiona Beck the “Fiona” in the Robert & Fiona Story

A. No – Robert and Fiona aren’t their real names… I generally won’t allow people to use their real names when using a story or case study so they won’t be open to other people deciding to contact them or judge them or do what people like to do to make life difficult… The case studies are all very real and written by the people themselves with no editing.

Q. Why can’t I publish what you said on a forum
A. Just like your doctor, lawyer or accountant any consultation is personal to you and your situation not anyone else’s.. They will all have agreements prohibiting broadcasting or publishing what they tell you and so do I its normal usual good business practice..

A reading is a reading for you, your situation is different from anyone elses. The agreement doesn’t mean you cant tell your fiends or Mum it means you can’t PUBLISH or BROADCAST what was said.
Posting something on a website or forum is PUBLISHING to the entire world…

This does not inhibit you in any way from posting your thoughts and opinions nor is it meant to…its a very normal business practice and shows respect for the consultation which means MUTUAL confidentiality so whats true for one person is true for the other.. Thats fair, equitable, professional, respectful and proper..



Q. What is it thats so different about Ptsen-Nuh? ( abbreviated PN )
A. Everything

PN is radically different because we look at how the person works in an entirely different way and we don’t “match up” the energy system and the behavioral processes like psychology or conventional energy work does. Its a completely different context – one that is much more reflective of the real union of energy and the physical.. What follows is disciplines that can achieve things that have previously been thought unachievable… The case studies are there to illustrate some of these – they reflect around 0.5% of people who have trained in PN. http://healmyenergy.com

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If you want to know about a soul connection you will not find out about it from anyone else's story even if they seem similar because every situation so unique thats why we don't feature the stories .. Soul connection articles on the general issues and principles can be found here but to find about about your own unique situation it needs to looked at individually which can only come from an individual consultation.]

When I found an article online by Steve Gunn talking about the “insanity” of a soul mate “runner” it wasn’t until that very moment that I even knew this behaviour had a name!

So many of the other websites that I could find re: soul mates, soul twins etc were filled with shimmering sparkles and one in particular had a cartoon picture of a man and woman in silhouette kissing in the sunset with a quote from Plato that went “When one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment.”

Well there Mr. Plato, I have no doubt this is a wondrous ideal and I myself can relate to what you are saying by the staggering depth of love my sweetheart and I experience with each other…but I know now there is WAY more to the story than this. If I could be so bold, perhaps a rewrite would go something like this…”When one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love, which brings up fear, pain and unresolved emotional issues for both of them and one of them will run out of the other’s sight.”

I know, makes no sense to the logical mind. From where I sit now I can absolutely say it is a sublimely synchronistic dance with a clear and concise purpose…the opportunity for healing and wholeness for both parties involved. Healing and wholeness, you know, the “I’m OK, you’re OK” variety. I want you to know that if you are reading this and are in great pain and are thinking to yourself “ I was OK until s/he ran and nothing is going to make it better until they return, nothing!”

I myself truly believed that his return would be the ONLY thing that would stop this onslaught of horrific pain. If you too are hurting this bad I want you to know my heart is with you. I know that pain, I really do. I saw not one but two therapists a week…psychology didn’t do it. I have the most loving non judgemental circle of friends…their support didn’t do it. Time wasn’t doing it. I have a deep and profound love of God…are you getting the picture? Absolutely nothing was alleviating the pain. I was even hospitalized with a total breakdown. I truly knew my very life was in danger if I didn’t find release. RELEASE is the key word here.

In comes Steve Gunn’s work. Let me say first off, I was so grateful for the conspicuous lack of purple sparkles on his website. Just a strong, clear, clean presentation. Reflects the man I tell you. The first thing I did was book a psychic reading with him. I had never had a reading in my life and I was DESPARATE to know if my love was destined to return to me. I had a wonderful reading with Steve, it was deeply perceptive, highly informative and yes, his psychic skills were astonishing too. Joy oh joy, my love would return! That’s all I could fixate on at the time. Dear God! There would be an end to this pain! Now, wouldn’t you think such a favorable reading would bring me some peace and allow me to trust the process and work on myself?

Oh no, not so. The pain of loss and rejection was like a monster out of control. What began then was a costly and embarrassing stint of psychic readings with online agencies which spanned over two months. It was like I was hooked on crack cocaine… I’d go for a few days then I would need to hear it again…Yes! He’s coming back! I’d feel better and then I would need another fix. When?! When?! One would say in a month, another in six months. One said he wasn’t coming back at all. That one nearly did me in. It was only after I got Steve’s book on soul connections and read his chapter and online articles on the whole world of psychic readings that I was able to gain insight into this process. Consequently, I have a deeper respect for Steve and his integrity, and, we all know hindsight is 20/20, but I can honestly say I should have just stopped at his reading. He definitely has the bigger picture dialed in.

As I look back at this time in my journey it feels like getting all those readings was like putting myself on the biggest, scariest roller coaster ride. I am SO thrilled to be off THAT “fortune telling” ride. It was horrible. But here’s the thing, all of this was so beautifully orchestrated for my ultimate happiness. It is written that God has a “refining fire”. When you take clay and fire it, its’ impurities are burned off…did you know it takes several firings to make the finest porcelain?

If you are in this kind of pain Dear Heart, I believe you might very well be in the Refiner’s fire. I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that soul connections are one of God’s greatest gifts and are masterfully designed to set us free. I know with complete clarity that this is what my soul connection is about.

To finally release all these old woundings and stand in a place of peace, empowerment and unconditional love. But I will also tell you this, YOU CANNOT KNOW THIS FROM AN INTELLECTUAL PERSPECTIVE, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY. That’s why all the talking and support in the world made no difference to me. Time made no difference. No amount of reassurance made the healing happen. In fact, reassurance delayed my breakthrough to tell you the truth.

This is an emotional journey. This is an energetic journey. This is a deeply spiritual journey. Most important of all, this is an exquisitely intimate journey between your soul and God’s. I know without Steve’s Ptsen Nuh ( PN ) work and the hand of God on me every step of the way I couldn’t have done it. I am telling you straight up, this work is not for the faint of heart. You have to be ready. If you are absolutely fed up with the pain and are finally ready to submit to the urgent need to face your OWN demons once and for all, I suggest you work with Steve…I couldn’t think of a better person to take into that battle.

So, what about my Happy Ending? Guess what! It’s right here and right now. You know what else? I think I’ll call it my Happy Starting instead. That’s what it really is. With Steve’s PN work and the disciplines he has taught me I now know EVERY relationship in my life will benefit. I feel like a calm, grounded self contained unit ready to live and learn and give and receive unconditional love.

It was INCONCEIVABLE to me a few short weeks ago that I could hold the love I have for my beloved and not feel pain. Not only am I not in pain, I actually have a deep compassion for his struggle and have far better understanding of his running away.

In my heart, I know my love is doing exactly what he needs to be doing for his soul’s journey and I can bless him while he is out in the wilderness so to speak. With this newfound inner tranquility I can hold him in my prayers far more effectively.

One of the most profound things Steve said to me was;
“Unconditional loving leads to happiness…Unconditional giving leads to destruction” I really had to chew this one over. Now, from where I stand after doing all this work, I get it. I am looking forward to test driving the real Hannah in chapter two of our love story.

In the mean time guess what! …I am a woman in Love. Always.

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If you want to know about a soul connection you will not find out about it from anyone else's story even if they seem similar because every situation so unique thats why we don't feature the stories .. Soul connection articles on the general issues and principles can be found here but to find about about your own unique situation it needs to looked at individually which can only come from an individual consultation.]

A big thank you to Katy who shares her story with a wish to help others who are walking the path she’s on.

Katy’s story in her own words

Like many of you reading this article, I have been involved in a soul mate connection for a number of years. I have tried every kind of therapy and treatment to “rid me” of the pain I have suffered as a result of my connection: Reiki, yoga, counselling, metaphysical counselling, psychic reading after psychic reading (the amount of money I spent is pretty shocking)…and although they all had their benefits in their own way in the short-term, nothing was able to get to the root of my issues.

The initial delight I felt when my situation was described as a “soul mate connection” by many of the psychics I spoke to soon dissipated as the pain of the separation from my soul mate continued. In fact, not only were we apart, but he had also told me he could not give me what I wanted or make me happy as he was not ready to settle down and that he did not want the same things as me. To add insult to injury last year he became involved with someone else. In fairness to him we had only ever been very close friends and to this day, he is still with the other woman. Nearly every psychic reading told me that he loved me and that they were not meant to be. This was seen only as a temporary situation but it didn’t make me feel any better here and now. Moreover, by looking at the situation logically, my guy had chosen to be with someone else and had decided to effectively cut me out of his life. All the psychic readings in the world could not make me feel any better. Furthermore, the more often I had readings, the less effective they became at easing my pain and providing the necessary reassurance I sought to help me make it through the day. If I was told that he loved me I didn’t believe it anymore. Yet if I was given a negative reading where I was told he didn’t love me, I instantly believed it must be true. After all, if he loved me he would be with me right?? To make matters worse I would seek out more positive readings to negate what I had been told. It got to the stage whereby I didn’t know if I was coming or going.

I first contacted Steve about a year ago after reading his Soul Shock article on the net. For the first time I can genuinely say that someone had been able to make sense of the madness and it felt great to truly understand the reasons behind my connection. I was actually relieved when he told me he could not put a timing on when my soul mate would contact me etc. I was sick of being repeatedly disappointed when timings came and went with nothing to show for it. I actually remember reading someone else’s feedback on an online psychic site that I used, whereby the client had stated that various readers had told her the same thing over a period of EIGHT YEARS and that nothing had come to fruition. It was at that point that I realised I had to do something about myself.

Eventually I contacted Steve again and started doing PN but was unsuccessful the first time around as I was just not ready to do the work. I think I was looking for a “quick fix” and although Steve asked me on a number of occasions if I was ready to really do the work, in hindsight I hadn’t suffered enough. I guess what I am trying to show you is that the work is hard but you have to be disciplined and in a place where you have nothing else to lose, and where you cannot and will not allow the pain to consume you any more. I had started to look older and haggard – something I could never have been accused of before. I cried every single day for 2 and half years. I no longer saw the joy in anything or anyone. My doctor prescribed me anti-depressants, and I spent most of my time in a perpetual state of numbness. Like many of you I am sure, for a long time I felt that it was right to feel such pain as it meant that everything I had gone through was real. That so long as I felt this way, I must love this man and he must love me. But there are only so many tears you can cry and just before Christmas last year I realised that I could not go on this way. I had a responsibility to my family and more importantly to myself, to get well again and to enjoy my life. As clichéd as it sounds, life is not a dress rehearsal and I was totally fed up with struggling just to make it through the day. So, I contacted Steve again and began the PN process once more, but determined this time that I would do the work.

Now, (aside from a few wobbles along the way!) I am getting there and life seems good again. I am starting to feel a sense of liberation that I could only have dreamed of, even as recently as 6 months ago. In fact, very recently I suddenly realised why I have been going through this painful situation… to kick me up the butt and make me see that I cannot keep plodding along with my life the way I have. Forget the relationship. I have been unhappy for YEARS about myself, my achievements, everything. My soul mate ran through fear, but guess what – he is only mirroring my own fears. I have been afraid to truly do the things I want with my life and to be the person I now know I truly can be. How on earth could I be with someone else when I hated myself as much as I did and had yet to fulfil my potential? I have needed this time to sort my life out for ME! Not for anyone else.

Interestingly, since I have been integrating the PN techniques into my life, my soul mate has been in touch out of the blue after a seven-month hiatus. He wanted to know how I was. Two days later I bumped into him – true evidence that the Universe is in the driving seat here. My dreams have become way more profound and I seem to dream about him most of the time. Each dream shows me that the timing is just not right between us at the moment. Of course he has gone quiet again and I have no idea how long for. He is fighting this “thing” every step of the way but even he can’t deny that the synchronistic events surrounding the two of us are occurring more and more frequently. I have no idea what will happen between my soul mate and myself, but I know he is not anywhere near ready to walk the walk. That doesn’t matter now. Don’t get me wrong, I miss him every day and I know I will always love him deeply. However, I now have a deep respect and faith in this whole process. What matters most to me now is that, thanks to PN, I have stepped foot on my path and tentative as those steps may initially have been, I have no intention of looking back.

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This is not a story about a soul connection
This is not a story about romance
This is a story about the universe in which we live

A client allowed me to share her story as an illustration of some important issues she wants to help others..

Let’s call her Mary…

Mary wanted to know about her romantic future and had lined up a very reputable reader, someone who came highly recommended and who she’d read a lot about.. The person was booked up for some considerable time in advance – but she took her turn and eventually got to have a reading…..

The reader described a man coming into her life, a man with an unusual mix of hobbies and career, certainly something that wouldn’t be usual in any way or could be ”general”, it was quite unusual and quite specific . In addition the reader described his hair color and eyes and personality aspects. The outcome of the prediction was that this man was perfect for her and she would marry him…

Quite bemused and excited by this Mary wanted to be sure, she didn’t want to get her hopes too high so she went to another reader and lo and behold the prediction was the same. Same guy coming in, same unusual mix – professional with unusual hobbies and same description of hair and eyes..

“WOW” could it be true ???

“Ok” she thought, “one final reading then I can be sure and not get my hopes too high just to be disappointed later”…

A third reader was consulted and guess what.. yup the same prediction of the arrival of this guy and the same outcome – marriage and happiness..

“WOWEEE” – needless to say she was elated, the years of waiting were over…

I was eventually asked about this guy and I looked at the situation…

In my reading I gave her the information that the next few people in her life would in fact be tests of where she was in her life, and that she was in danger of repeating certain cycles of her past and that if she did she would take herself back years.

She asked if they were “karmic connections” or “karmic relationships” and I explained there’s no such thing, karma is a universal mechanism applicable to all of life, like gravity – it applies to all things in some degree or other and therefore we can’t define relationships or soul connection of any description as “karmic”..but even that hasn’t stopped myth and popular spirituality doing so for a long time

I explained that if she made the right choices with these people coming in right now she would find happy choices with someone different a little later down the line and she will interact on a healthy happy loving level and so she would get her happiness and a choice of who to marry..but that the universe would never make that choice for her or anyone.

I also explained that the choices made in the coming months would decide if that happiness was a year away, or a decade….that her future is a course that she must navigate and the speed at which she travels will depend entirely on her choices… BUT that she would be happy and fulfilled and have great relationship choices but not with this present person or 2 others following along behind…

That didn’t mean she couldn’t marry this guy, of course she is free to do that but that if she did it comes at a considerable price, a price she will pay for – for some time…

As expected the predictions I made were as welcome as a pig at a Barmitsvah.

A few months go bye….then I get an email.. guess who turned up in her life. Right description, the strange mix of profession and hobby as predicted and same hair and eye color… Mary announced she was ensconced and diving headlong into a relationship and planning a future…and he was mad keen to move fast and not let her go..

Some time went bye and I received a call…

Mary asked me to look at some things because she was so worried.. Yes she’d welcomed this chance with open arms but it didn’t feel right for her..

She asked how something could feel so wrong when 3 readers had seen this guy coming with exact descriptions, exact details all the same…

Well I reminded her that her readings hadn’t been “exact” but there was some interesting detail, that the first had at least got a description of the guy but in fact it was possible that the later readers were reading her mind or hopes when they confirmed previous detail – her mind did the rest…

She explained she didn’t find herself physically attracted to this guy and was finding it increasingly hard to stay in a relationship with him. She’d also noticed that he was a mirror of previous relationships with guys she wasn’t attracted to but had money and made her feel secure…She also had to take a subservient position in the relationships in the past and let the guy control and this had been happening again with this one…

She was walking the path to the past once again…

I repeated my original prediction and for some time she hung onto the idea of a “connection” all because she was in need and after all 3 readers had seen “the answer” coming hadn’t they ? … but finally she emailed and admitted she couldn’t really connect with this guy in any way other than a way she already knew too well but that wasn’t healthy….co-dependence. She finally admitted there was no passion, no love and it wasn’t equal on any level and she had decided to pull away.

Now more than a year later we see Mary happy – she’s moved apartments, is doing a job she loves and is peaceful and happy. She has several guys around her ( 2 more did come and go in that year and all were tests of old lessons ) but the ones around her now are healthy and she’s taking her time and finding happiness in every life event.

She will make a choice of who to be with and be happy with that choice but right now she is so enjoying life she is going to wait for something that’s right for her, something that doesn’t require compromise or fulfillment of old wounds or needs. She frequently talks of how life is so fulfilling and she will make her relationship choices on her terms, but on the universes timing. I.e. she will wait until its right not make any one “right”.

And so the answer of “how can it be wrong when 3 predictions were the same ?” is…

One prediction saw someone coming, and that reader then decided ( for whatever reason ) to superimpose their judgment onto that reading and make a marriage out of it…Remember that much as we may want it, the universe doesn’t destine marriage, that’s our freewill..

Subsequent readers most likely tuned into her wants ( telepathy ) and Mary herself must have subconsciously “fed” those readers to some extent.. Classically people can easily get to believing they are in touch with guides when it’s also their own inner voice and telepathy … add to that a want to be liked and feed clients expectations…

I am sure all the readers had best intentions but became influenced by clients needs, their need to get good feedback, and probably their own beliefs and lack of metaphysical framework or discipline…

This is what we refer to as fortune telling

Both types of readings, theirs and mine, made predictions..thats not the issue that one makes predictions and the other doesn’t….the predictions are there for you to see..

The real key is who’s the boss? In fortune telling its anything you want to believe – often along with client expectations and your own beliefs all mixed in …. A scary number of people just say what comes into their head and that’s how they’ve been taught.. But often many of these things can be personal opinions, judgments and bias added to what they get psychically..

In addition, fortune telling is designed to fulfill client expectations and often people get readings to feel better so the definition of a “good reading” is one that makes the client feel better – hence it’s a rarity to get a fully objective reading because this type of reading is a phenomenon designed by popularity not by effectiveness…

The story illustrates that it’s really not “is one psychic better than the other” it’s so much more fundamental than that. It’s about general belief being misinformed and thinking fortune telling is psychic reading simply because there’s so much of it about – and why wouldn’t there be, it’s based on keeping clients happy…

In the disciplines I and others work to, the psychic reading ( as defined by the Psychic Guidance Code of Practice ) its only the universe is the boss – and there’s no second option, belief or personalization…and those rules are unbendable… and we do that for a reason. I hope the story helps illustrate the reasons and how peoples emotional futures are important and should be respected with objectivity and discipline in the practices..

And so the punch line is to demonstrate how what’s called “psychic” covers two entirely different fields – they could not be more different – and yet are often referred to in the same terms.

Finally before anyone emails to say “this story isn’t over what about the relationship” remember this is already a story with a happy ending – she’s happy she will now choose who to share that ending with when she’s ready.

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